FanPost

Charles Barkley's Ancestry 2010/11Edition: 14th Granny Monta! [Warning: Tons of Pics]

Alright, last night's game got it started once again....

This clip aired first in 2008. If we take Charles at face value (who wouldn't?), scoring 45 against the Mavs = Mother of Chuck. Scoring 30 against the Mavs = Grandmother of Chuck. Pretty easy, right?

 

Just a reminder, last year's regular season: 13 Grandmothers, 2 Mothers

Last year's playoffs: = 0 Granny, 0 Mother. Shame on you, Spurs, Shame on you.

The year before, regular season: 23 Grandmothers, 0 Mother; Playoffs: 7 Grandmothers in 10 Games.

Of course, Rick Carlisle is a stats guy and a Defense Guy, too. So he'd like to create fewer Relatives for the Chuckster, mmkaay? € : FAIL. Already 13 14 Grannies and still 6 regular Season-Games left.

This Post may or may not be updated. Depends on you, Tyson.

2010/11 Grandmother #1, Game 14, Kevin Wayne Durant, 32 Points on 12-20 FG, 2-7 3FG, 6-6 FT in a Dallas 111-103 Win in OKC. Second appearance for KDthunderup.

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May i respectfully change my pivot foot, Mr. President?

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"It's pretty easy to do when you step aside, Tyson."

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Not exactly the Two Towers.

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Whoops.

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All day.

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And1.

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Want to know what Speed really is?

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This.

Special Reminder for Charles

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He's mine. Get. your. hands. off.

2010/11 Grandmother #2, Game 15, Emanuel David Ginobili, 31 Points on 9-16 FG, 4-8 3FG, 9-9 FT in a 103-94 Dallas Win in San Antonio. (Notice a pattern?) First Appearance for Manuginobili.

Instant Reaction by Charles

Instant Reaction by Manu

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How it happened...

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Thanks for the space, Abe.

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So good, he wants to score  everywhere.

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Aaaaah, it hurts, it hurts! Those shiny new pants of his! Aaaaaah!

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Batmanu climbs the imaginary stairs to the rim.

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Hey i wanted to take a charge.....why are thou behindst me?

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Ugh. I just discovered the error in the Matrix.

 

2010/11 Grandmother #3, Game 23, Deron Michael Williams, 34 Points on 12-22 FG, 2-4 3FG, 8-9 FT in a Dallas 103-97 Win in Dallas. 3rd Cameo for D-Will

William's Reaction upon learning the fact:

How it happend

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Bbbbbbbbaaaaaalll!

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A planecrash? This is a rough game...

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Hm. Maybe i'm not assertive enough. Better start scoring.

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FFS, JJB is blowin' by me? ENOUGH!

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BAM! Elbow Floater in yo face, Tyson!

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"Y'know Jason, i was wonderin'...Have you ever scored 30 on the Mavs? I mean, EVER?" -"Yup."

[Note: there really weren't many pics of D-Will scoring [taken]]

2010/11 Grandmother #4, Game 25, LaMarcus Nurae Aldridge, 35 Points on 14-26 FG, 7-10 FT in a Dallas 103-98 Win in Dallas. First appearance for LMA.

How he'd do it?

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Layups!

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Dunks!

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Hook shots!

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Post-ups!

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Step-throughs!

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High Jumps! So, yes basically the whole repertoire. 

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And after that? - Realizing what he has done.

2010/11 Grandmother #5, Game 33Antawn Cortez Jamison, 35 Points on 14-22 FG, 3-6 3FG, 4-5 FT in a Dallas 104-95 Win in Cleveland. First appearance for the non-tweeter.

How?

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With the Left!

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And the drive!

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But really, mostly with the Left. Aight, DoJo?

Charles' Reaction

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" Jamison? This is getting silly. By the way, can anybody help me out of my seat?"

2010/11 Grandmother #6, Game 45, Luis Alberto Scola Balvoa, 30 Points on 14-21 FG, 0-0 3FG, 2-2 FT in a Dallas 111-106 Win in Dallas. First appearance for El LUIFA.

How?

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With the Hookshot!

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And the Matador Defense!

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The tiptoe Layup aint that bad, either!

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The Caramba-Scoop.

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Teamwork inside the Paint gets it done!

 

Charles' Reaction

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Oh Boy...

 

2010/11 Grandmother #7, Game 53, Chauncey Ray Billups, 30 Points on 10-19 FG, 5-11 3FG, 5-5 FT in a Dallas 120-121 Loss in Denver. Second appearance for Smooth (if you count the Playoffs)

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Everybody calm down, i got this.

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Getting to the Rim

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I mean really GETTING there...

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Too easy, might as well jack up some threes...

2010/11 Grandmother #8, Game 53Carmelo Kiyan Anthony, 42 Points on 17-25 FG, 5-7 3FG, 3-3 FT in a Dallas 120-121 Loss in Denver.  FIFTH appearance for carmeloanthony (if you count the Playoffs)

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"Dirk, can i score 40 on you guys?"- "Whatever..." - "Ok"

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Loading Grimace-up-Fake v 4.39....

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Peja! Haven't seen you in a while. How's your constipation?

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Higher! Push me higher, you morans!

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Seeing this throat-tattooe is a really good motivation. Thanks Abe!

 

 

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"This is fun, i wish i could play the Mavs every Game!"

Charles' Reaction

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2010/11 Grandmother #9, Game 57, Al Ricardo Jefferson, 30 Points on 11-14 FG, 0-0 3FG (lol), 8-10 FT in a Dallas 118-99 Win in Dallas.  Second appearance for the big Ripper.

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(via www.joelkimmel.com)

How so?

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"This crap was in the scouting report. I still don't believe it, Tyson!"

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Isiah Layup.

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They give me the jumper all day.

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Brian Cardinal Sin! Pleased to meet you again.

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Another Layup!

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I wish i could play you guys 82 times a season.

Charles' Reaction

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"Al Jefferson? -  Ugggh."

2010/11 Grandmother #10, Game 65, Amar'e Carsares Stoudemire, 36 Points on 12-27 FG, 0-0 3FG (lol), 12-13 FT in a Dallas 127-109 Win in Dallas. Fun times for Amareisreal.

How so?

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Just put your head down...

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..get the manual for the bionic powerdunk arm...

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...then take the ball..

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..shoot it over nonexistant Defense...

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..dunk through the same...

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Oops!

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Take  a second in midair to recalibrate..

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And start again with the jumper...

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...just to dance the night away..

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And to drive the point home..

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you take dat with chu.

Charles Reaction

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No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel
For you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

 

2010/11 Grandmother #11, Game 67, LaMarcus Nurae Aldridge, 30 Points on 13-25 FG, 4-7 FT in a Portland 104-101 Win in Portland. 2nd appearance for LMA.

How did he do it?

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Evade the Pimphand = Free Dunk.

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Jumping Hookshots all inclusive (flailing legs, scowling Dirk and kneegroining Chandler)

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And of course posting up all night long.

: In video form [apparently timbo got banned and started his own blazersblogcommunity?]

Charles Reaction

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2010/11 Grandmother #12, Game 69, William Anthony "Tony" Parker, 33 Points on 14-22 FG, 1-2 3FG, 4-5 FT in a San Antonio 97-91 Win in Dallas. Approx. 56th appearance for tp9network.

How do yo do (it)?

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"You know, first i check the ball pressure, fo shu."

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"..then i hold my breath magnifiqué.."

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"..until i'm past il Presidenté.."

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"...jump in the air and make the layup in traffic."

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"And then do it again."

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"..and again."

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"...and again."

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"and....you guessed it, again."

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"...until the streak hits ten...oh crap, he blocked it, now i have to start again."

Charles Reaction

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2010/11 Grandmother #13, Game 71Anthony Erwin Randolph, Jr., 31 Points on 14-20 FG, 0-0 3FG, 3-3 FT in a Dallas 104-96 Win in Dallas. First Appearance for TheARandolph.

How so?

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"There are two ways for athletic forwards to score against the Mavs. One is to go to the Rim..."

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"..disregard the French..."

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".... and dunk that one home. The other Way is to hit Jumpers, but i think you already know how that looks like."

Charles' Reaction

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2010/11 Grandmother #14, Game 76, Monta Ellis., 32 Points on 11-20 FG, 4-8 3FG, 6-6 FT in a Dallas 92-99 Loss in Oakland. First Appearance for Ellis this year..ca 15th overall.

Howdy..

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Throwing it down...

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...laying it up with a grimace..

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..it's not like their backcourt can stop me, haha....
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...just doing it for the Kidds.

Charles' Reaction

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"I knew that. Doesn't that happen every year?"

Additional Info

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