FanPost

A Message from the Rest of Us

Editor's Note: Front Paged for Awesomeness. And butt-kissing :)

I joined your site Thursday night while watching the game and following your game threads. Fucking unbelievable game...and you all kick ass. I know this is special to you, the Mabs faithful, but this time there is more at stake. We're all with you guys.

I'm a Bullets fan. Yes, I know they're the Seadogs now, or some such nonsense...don't care. My people are a dour people. We are survivors...sometimes forced to sustain ourselves on little more than the rebounding potential of Bismack Biyombo. Before the Great Wall of Chinatown was constructed, our last, best player and favorite son is best known for pooping in teammates' shoes and staging a locker room spaghetti western. We are a proud people still...the people of Unseld...of Earl the Pearl...of Gheorghe Muresan.

We have been wronged by too many twists of fate to recite, and you wouldn't care if I did. Nor should you...this is your time. As the young prophet Mikey Walsh once foretold:

Up there...there in the Alps of egotism where only the soulless could breathe the characterless oxygen...up there...it's their time. It's their time up there. But down here...down here where a man's feet must press the dirt in order to fight for his own dreams...down here...it's our time. It's our time down here.

I do not need to explain what is at stake. The WORLD knows what is at stake. This die had been cast long before any Decision had been defecated into our collective sense of propriety. Like a righteous Voltron, we must all unite against King Zarkon, Prince Lotor, Hagar and their robeasts. We must...or all is lost.

In these hours, when the script has been written by those that wield the company pen, humanity must come together to rail against the forces of marketing campaigns that insult our intelligence. I have put aside my mitochondrial inscriptions which cause me to FUCKING HATE DALLAS. You must understand. This is as inherent in my people as the belief that Jerruh Jones pissed scotch-flavored excellence is to yours. Belay that...for you alone can defeat our common enemy.

So I beseech thee. Win it!

Win it for Caron!

Win it so the fucking Crab Dribbler can't!

Win it so Jeff Van Gundy and the other fucking toadies can suck it!

Win it for having the only German anyone is comfortable having tens of thousands bow to!

Just fucking win it!

That is all.

Sincerely,

Everyone with a Soul

P.S. LJ kicks ass. Maybe it's sexist of my semi-southern ass to be surprised and intrigued by a kick ass person with lady parts is in the middle of the Sportspocalypse. I don't know. Fuck it...it's cool. Keep rockin'. AND GO MAVS!

Reader Submitted

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