It wasn't an African ceremony.
It wasn't a secret European ceremony.
It, apparently, turns out to have been a ceremony--on July 20th--at Dirk's palatial Preston Hollow house in Dallas.
He's off to the Carribbean, apparently to have another ceremony with some family members. You can read about it all there.
Sorry ladies. He's the Uber-Husband now.
As someone who once creepily looked at Dirk's house after grabbing a cupcake at Sprinkles, I can't help but feel partially responsible.