FanPost

O.J. Mayo is Destiny's Child: Music for Your Mavericks Offseason

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Hi fellow Mavericks fans! Back by popular demand, it's your self-appointed music correspondent. I'm going to get us all through the playoffs and offseason with the healing power of song.

First off, can we take a moment?

There, don't you feel better?

So, we'll be sad for a while, sure. We'll watch other teams play games that we wanted the Mavs to play in. We'll temporarily adopt new favorite teams (I even have a suggestion!) and root for them instead. Then the lottery, draft, free agency, summer league, and before you know it, we'll have a whole new season to mess us up in its own special way. There are songs for all of that on this handy Spotify playlist. Let this be your soundtrack as we get through this offseason together.

The Immediate Aftermath

Natalie Imbruglia, "Torn"

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn (via natalieimbrugliaVEVO)

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see
The perfect sky is torn

NOTHING'S FINE I'M TORN. This is perfect. We'll watch the playoffs wistfully, thinking about what could have been, ashamed that our team couldn't continue its proud tradition, wondering why the illusion of a sometimes-promising team lured us into believing so many times...it just works on so many levels. Also, 90s one-hit wonders forever and ever.

The Playoffs

Delta Spirit, "Golden State"

DeltaSpirit::Golden State [OFFICIAL] (via Rounder Records)

Pick your own new favorite team, I guess. I happen to enjoy the Warriors. Nice little turnaround story, fun to watch, Stephen Curry is awesome, etc. Plus you should all be listening to cool indie bands from my home state.

Runner up: Marc Cohn, "Walking in Memphis". I guess the Grizzlies are the other team I'd consider supporting, mostly because I'll support anything Justin Timberlake is a part of.*

Avenue Q Original Broadway Cast, "Schadenfreude"

Schadenfreude (via Matt Hepworth)

And when I see how sad you are, it sort of makes me...happy!

Ah, schadenfreude. Enjoyment obtained from the trouble of others. We've all done it. Rooting against certain teams will be a significant part of the Mavericks fan's playoff experience. The Lakers come to mind here, clearly. Applicable to a lesser extent to the Spurs, Nets and the Clippers for me, or any other team you're watching just to watch them lose.

The Draft

Savage Garden, "I Want You"

Savage Garden - I Want You (via avaloncarson101)

Basic Mavericks draft strategy:

But a look, then a smell of perfume
It's like I'm down on the floor
And I don't know what I'm in for...

Ooh, I want you
I don't know if I need you
But, ooh, I'd die to find out

I've only been through one draft as a Mavericks fan but I've read countless articles about the others. The front office gets infatuated with a player who no one else cares about. They inevitably pass on someone more proven to take said player. Or does someone have a song that works better here? Because honestly I also really love any excuse to listen to this song.

JJAMZ, "Get What You Want"

With choice lyrics such as "This is not a good idea / I know it isn't right" and "it's not giving up to know you're wrong," this would be solid draft advice to the Mavs' front office. (Go listen to this band's whole album, too. It's extremely fun spring/summer listening.)

Free Agency

Oh heyyyyy CP3. You're looking really pretty this summer. (Yeah, okay, I got caught up for a second. That's not happening.)

Destiny's Child, "Bills, Bills, Bills"

Destiny's Child - Bills, Bills, Bills (via DestinysChildVEVO)

At first we started out real cool...

Shoutout to O.J. Mayo, Darren Collison, and all the other players who may or may not be back with us after showing flashes of being both "a baller, when times get hard" and "a scrub who don't know what a man's about." (Last part too harsh, maybe? Well, don't blame me. Beyonce wrote the song.)

Puff Daddy, "It's All About the Benjamins"

Puff Daddy ft. The Notorious B.I.G., The LOX & Lil' Kim - It's All About the Benjamins (via XclusiveCity)

The conversation goes something like this:

Front office: "We have Dirk! And that whole playoff traditi........oh. But Dirk!"

Free Agents: "But $$$$$$$."

Front office: "WE MAY HAVE THAT TOO."

Seems ideal, no?

Foo Fighters, "Better Off"

Dave Grohl for king of the universe. This is the best "f--- you for rejecting me" song that I know, so hopefully we won't have it on repeat too terribly much.

Summer League

INXS, "Pretty Vegas"

INXS - Pretty Vegas (via INXSVEVO)

So if you think you want it

Just come in and get it

It ain't pretty

Did you know that INXS was briefly fronted by a Canadian named J.D. Fortune who won a reality singing competition? It's true! And this song is fantastic. If you are heading to Summer League, this is your anthem. Just put it on repeat, roll down your windows, and sing loud.

LFO, "Summer Girls"

LFO Summer Girls (via snowontheweb)

"And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer..."

Brittney Griner! Just kidding. Or am I? AM I? MAYBE NOT. This song also has a reference to "the Great Larry Bird," in case you didn't think it was a song about basketball. Oh, and fun fact: My friends declared this song "my song" in high school because I wore a lot of Abercrombie & Fitch. Years later, this still seems like flawless logic.

BONUS

Cake, "The Distance"

Cake - The Distance (Live on Letterman) (via CakeVEVO)

The arena is empty except for one man, still driving and striving as fast as he can...

[Cut to INTERIOR:

Dirk, in a dark training room, working out. Spotlight is on him. He is alone. Preparing. Waiting.]

Then it's a new season you guys! Happy spring. Enjoy the playoffs. Then go outside and get some sun. You could use it.

* Except for *NSYNC, because I was totally team Backstreet Boys back in the day.

Reader Submitted

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