Scouting Dirk's Heroes Celebrity Baseball Game

Tom Pennington

Dirk and some friends are playing a charity baseball game today. Find out who's going to be there and what you can expect.

Later today, by my count, approximately all of the Dallas Mavericks and Dallas Cowboys, some former Mavericks and Cowboys, at least one Dallas Star, an actor from the show "Dallas," and a lot of other sports glitterati will be hanging out at Dr. Pepper Ballpark in Frisco for Dirk Nowitzki's 2014 Heroes Celebrity Baseball Game.

The proceeds will benefit the children's charities of the Dirk Nowitzki Foundation and the Heroes Foundation.

Mavs Moneyball's own Tim Cato was on the scene as the guys took batting practice and talked with the media a little yesterday. I've got your scouting report below, and Tim and I will be on the scene later this evening as the "Blue Sox" take on the "White Sox" in INTENSE BASEBALL ACTION.

Some roster information and my highly skilled baseball analysis my thoughts are below. Also, please read to the end for some Very Important Chandler Parsons News.

Scouting the White Sox

Manager:

Rick Carlisle (Head Coach, Dallas Mavericks)

Roster:
  • Dirk Nowitzki (Forward, Dallas Mavericks)
  • Tony Romo (Quarterback, Dallas Cowboys)
  • Jason Witten (Tight End, Dallas Cowboys)
  • Jason Terry (Guard, Sacramento Kings; former Dallas Maverick)
  • Jason Garrett (Head Coach, Dallas Cowboys)
  • Devin Harris (Guard, Dallas Mavericks)
  • Brian Cardinal (Former Dallas Maverick)
  • Michael Young (Former infielder, Texas Rangers)
  • Monta Ellis (Guard, Dallas Mavericks)
  • Mike Bacsik (Former MLB pitcher)
  • Ben Rogers (co-host of The Ben & Skin Show on 105.3 The Fan)
  • Jody Dean (host of Jody Dean & The Morning Team on 98.7 KLUV)
  • Dez Bryant (Wide Receiver, Dallas Cowboys)
  • Ben Grieve (Former MLB outfielder)
  • Bernard James (Center, Dallas Mavericks)
Ohhhhhhkay y'all. I don't know who selected the rosters, but when you put all the best Mavericks and all the best Cowboys on one team, with the Wizard of the West as the manager, this hardly seems like a fair fight. You've got Carlisle to mastermind everything, Dirk and Monta to pick and pop the opposition to death, Romo has his two favorite receivers to throw to, JET is back to offer some fourth quarter heroics, and Bernard James....well, he's also here. Maybe he'll even get playing time!

Wait. This is BASEBALL, you tell me? Oh. Well that changes everything. I don't know who will be playing what positions here, and I've never seen any of these guys other than Michael Young play baseball. Romo, who is still recovering from offseason surgery, will actually be a bench coach (go ahead, insert your favorite joke here, I can take it). Thankfully there won't be a clock for Jason Garrett to worry about, since Carlisle's managing things around here and also, there aren't clocks in baseball.

So the bottom line here is, these are some amazing athletes and I don't know if most of them can play baseball, let alone how well.

Scouting the Blue Sox

Manager:

Donnie Nelson (President and GM, Dallas Mavericks)

Roster:
  • Vernon Wells (MLB outfielder)
  • Shane Larkin (Guard, Dallas Mavericks)
  • Eddie Najera (Head coach, Texas Legends)
  • Pudge Rodriguez (Former catcher, Texas Rangers)
  • Josh Henderson (Actor, TV series Dallas)
  • Geoff Stults (Actor, TV series Enlisted)
  • Jeff "Skin" Wade (co-host of The Ben & Skin Show on 105.3 The Fan)
  • Bradie James (Former linebacker, Dallas Cowboys)
  • Terrance Williams (Wide receiver, Dallas Cowboys)
  • Terrell Owens (Former wide receiver, Dallas Cowboys)
  • Tyler Seguin (Center, Dallas Stars)
Okay, for serious. Who picked these rosters? You have all the superstars and most important coaches on one team, and BOTH the actors on the other? AND you put Terrell Owens on here to get in everyone's head? Three actual MLB players on one team versus only two here? This seems...unfair in the extreme.

Here's the wild card though, you guys. Hear me out. Shane Larkin. If any basketball player ought to know how to play baseball, and play baseball well, you would think it was the son of Barry Larkin. I don't know if that's enough to overcome things for the Blue Sox, but if it is, you heard it here first.

Also, TO, if you DARE get into the ear of Terrance Williams......

The Wild Cards

These three guys have been previously announced but I haven't seen on the roster announcements, so I'm not sure if they are playing, just showing up, or have since backed out. If they play, I assume they'll be playing for the Blue Sox, considering the rosters are a little unbalanced. Jae Crowder and Ricky Ledo! would definitely add a lot of je ne sais quoi to any team.

And remember how I said I had Important Chandler Parsons News? Well, I mean...he's HERE. In Dallas. Playing on a team with Dirk. You can't convince me that doesn't mean anything with respect to his impending restricted free agent status on July 1. (I mean, it doesn't. It doesn't even a little bit. BUT WHAT IF IT DID? Discuss! Or don't, whatever. I don't want you to embarrass yourselves.)

#HandsomeBaseball, everyone. GET EXCITED.

The After Party (Apparently)

In case you missed it yesterday. We can neither confirm nor deny that MMB will also be on the scene livin' it up with Monta and J-Ho postgame.

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