Happy New Year, fellow Dallas Mavericks Fans! It's that special time... when all the failures of the past year get to be wiped from your slate, and you get to pick some random element about yourself that you vow to change but in the end just decide it's really not that bad and who really cares if you bite your nails anyway, right?
The Mavs are people, just like all of us, and they probably have a few things they'd like to work on in the new year. Below, you will find a list of players' resolutions. I may or may not have made these up. That's for you to decide.
Alexis Ajinca: Take more three-point shots. Lots more. Like, JJB-style.
Jose Barea: Dribble for the duration of an entire shot clock at least once per game.
Rodrigue Beaubois: Start a new fashion line of air boots. Fo' sho'
Caron Butler: Convince the marketing department to stop making absurd videos.
Brian Cardinal: Get a cooler nickname. One that doesn't scream "second-class citizen".
Tyson Chandler: Don't break. Seriously, avoid injury at all costs.
Brendan Haywood: Earn $55 million by pouting and missing free throws.
Dominique Jones: Play basketball in the NBA...?
Jason Kidd: Log 77 triple/doubles. Totally doable.
Ian Mahinmi: Educate the NBA world on French pronunciation. It's YON. Not EE-yan.
Shawn Marion: Perfect a shot where the elbows don't exceed a 30-degree angle. Zero follow-through. That's what's up.
Steve Novak: Surpass MC13 as the greatest towel-waver in Mavericks history.
Dirk Nowitzki: Obviously win a championship.
DeShawn Stevenson: Have name legally changed to Abe SouljaBoy Threevenson. Thug fa LYFE.
Jason Terry: Score in the first three quarters.