Dallas Mavericks 99, Sacramento Kings 60: The JJ sucks edition.

In case you missed the game tonight, you missed an absolute thriller. Don't let the score fool you folks, this was a nail biter. Yes, I know what you are thinking... a nailbiter versus the Kings? Seriously? I'm here to tell you that I was on the edge of my seat the entire night. Like Jose Juan Barea running the point, I dribbled all over myself in absolute fear that the Mavs would find a way to give this gimme away.

The positives:

  1. The Mavericks set a record for the fewest allowed points away in franchise history. This defense has decided that even though each of them has a daily appointment to treat their Osteoporosis, they are going to make a disciplined effort to commit to playing on the opposite side of the court
  2. JJ Barea no longer plays for the Mavs.
  3. Vince Carter is starting to publish his blueprint into the Maverick's scheme. VC scored 16 points with 6 rebounds in only 27 minutes. Most of our community has trouble with math, so that means that for every minute he was in the game he was scoring .6 points. After a game where he scored 16 points in 18 minutes, we can finally decree that Vinsanity has officially hit the Big D (the most important person staying at the W [sorry Khloe]).
  4. In case you've missed the craze, like LJ missed saving a limping horse, the Yi Movement has begun. Yi only played 12 minutes, scored 5 points and had 7 rebounds. That's right folks, 7 rebounds in 12 minutes.
  5. JET continued his absolutely horrible shooting streak, going 8 for 13 from the field. He only hit half of his three pointers and all of his free throws. What a loser.
  6. Lest us not forget about Grandpa Kidd. Old Man Winter some how managed to get 6 steals in 29 minutes. But, unfortunately, he scored 5 points. All 5 were wide open three pointers that he mistakenly stepped on the line. <I know the math doesnt work just go with it>.
The unfortunates:
  1. The Kings were bad. Really Bad. They shot 25%. That's a figure that would be put up by a JJ/Juwan Howard two man game.
  2. Ell-O still didn't have a breakout game. We are all still waiting for it to happen. We know he has the talent and the will, but something seems to be missing. That said, he still finished with 9 points and 7 rebounds. Mediocre stats for a player that is supposed to be an upgrade over Kris Humphries and Brandon Bass.
  3. Shawn Marion didn't make a three. <Sad Face>. As much as we love watching the T-Rex awkwardly throw up short armed hopes at a three, tonight he didn't connect.
  4. The bench only scored 68 points. When you have 3 all stars and Roddy B sitting downwind, I obviously expect triple digits from the other guys.
  5. The Mavs are on a winning streak. With the Lakers coming up, I expect something extraordinary to happen. Ideas that have popped into my head include but aren't limited to: a) Khloe divorces LO during a timeout b) Delonte gets a visit from tuff juice and develops a hot sauce filled straw habit that derails him through the rest of the season c) All of our team forgets to take their old men pills and forget to get on the bus to the Staples Center.
  6. Skin still works home games on the Maverick's broadcast.
As a one time thing, I appreciate the fact that LJ came out of the stables long enough to let me share my brilliance with the Maverick's community. Final thought: JJ has played 98 minutes for the TWolves this year and every one of them has been horrible. Before you go to sleep at night cross your heart, do your Tebow kneel, and thank God that he isn't taking any of our Mav's minutes.

Reader submitted. Opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of our editorial staff.

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