Rajon Rondo is the newest member of the Dallas Mavericks, as the Boston Celtics finally shipped away the All-Star point guard for Brandan Wright (WE'LL MISS YOU, B-WRIGHT), Jameer Nelson (HALLELUJAH) and Jae Crowder (EHHHH).
For those who weren't awake Wednesday night, reports came about that the Mavericks and Celtics were in "substantive discussions" about bringing Rondo to Dallas. The Los Angeles Lakers and Houston Rockets were making last-minute efforts, but Dallas won the sweepstakes and got the guy they've wanted at point guard for so long.
In our email thread, we had ample discussions about how Rondo would impact the Mavericks offensively. Rondo has always been an impact defender, but there were talks about how he would impact the spacing on offense. I can tell you some of us are happy with the trade, some of us are in the middle, and some of us think it's absolutely stupid the Mavs are doing this.
So, I decided that there was only one way to settle this discussion.
We went to NBA 2K15, the most
terrible amazing basketball game on the planet to figure this out. The original report from Wednesday night was that it would be Rondo for Wright, so that was the move we went with. I also figured Nelson would be traded, so I sent him to Boston. Crowder was still on the Mavs, but the game had him playing zero minutes, so I guess it works out.
A few disclaimers before we get to this:
- I am terrible at this game. I have never been good at this game. I can't recall the last time I was ever good at a 2K video game. So take that into consideration.
- The game was set to 12-minute quarters on superstar difficulty. If you've ever played this game, and have played on hall of fame difficulty, you know you stand a snowball's chance in hell of winning a 5-on-5 game.
- I went with the updated 2K rosters at the time of the report, so that's why you see Cory Joseph in place of Tony Parker, and Matt Bonner for Tiago Splitter. Manu Ginobili did not play in this game, either.
Let's pick things up early in the first quarter, a rather quiet start to the gam OH MY GOD A LOB TO CHANDLER PARSONS.
Now, Parsons hasn't caught an alley-oop all season, so of course this means this will happen on Saturday when the Mavericks actually take on the San Antonio Spurs in Rondo's potential debut. If it does happen, you all owe me a cookie.
Things went well in the first half for Dallas. The defense was a collective effort, which it better be against a banged-up Spurs team. More on that later, as you'll see that was all a lie. But this around-the-horn ball movement is spectacular, capped off by a Parsons jumper.
In video game land, everyone touches the ball. Even with people talking about Rondo and him holding onto the ball too long, you need to ask yourself, "Would Jameer Nelson do this kind of stuff? Or would he take the 3-pointer?"
By the time I finished this game, I knew I should have just let the computer play out. There's a lot of pressure when you know you're playing the game, and you also have to write about it. Unbeknownst to me, I thought it would be easy. Even on superstar difficulty, the video game gods were surely kind when I jumped out to a 52-37 halftime lead.
Even before then, when Dallas actually made a 3-pointer with Al-Farouq Aminu, destiny called and wanted the Mavericks to win this epic contest. So then we tried the Aminu 3 again. This time from the top of the key. Holy crap.
So there was that. Whether or not that was a sign to never do that again remains to be seen. But Aminu actually made a 3 in a video game, which came out well. Up until halftime, Rondo had a quiet first half. He got some assists, some early layups that I forgot to record and was playing good defense.
Dallas also shot 52 percent from the floor, so that was something.
But that also didn't excuse the fact that Rondo (I) made terrible decisions with the basketball. When you get new players on a team in a video game, you want to see if they're world beaters. And then you do things like this, and the whole world explodes in your face.
But still, a halftime lead, I'll take it. Yet, the third quarter was still to come, and we know the story about the third quarter: Nothing goes right for the Mavericks, not even in a dang video game.
In a matter of minutes, San Antonio made it to a one-possession game. Ellis was on fire shooting the ball, but too many turnovers made it rough for the digital Dallas squad.
But holy crap, I can't even explain what happened here. Dirk Nowitzki, not a point god.
At this point, it was a given Dallas was not going to win this game. It had already gotten well out of hand. Turnovers galore killed the Mavericks, and Chandler Parsons' struggles only proved matters worse for Monta and Dirk, who caught fire.
But along the way, something weird happened. Someone on the Spurs just went Michael Jordan on Dallas. No, it wasn't Tim Duncan, nor even Kawhi Leonard.
It was Danny Green. Of all freaking people, Danny Green, and he didn't even need to make a 3-pointer.
Then there was this.
I mean, come on.
Danny Green just did that, giving Tyson Chandler his sixth foul and pretty much putting this game out of reach. The Mavericks lost 102-96, further heightening my evidence of how bad I am at video games.
This kind of game can happen on Saturday, that being a new offense for Rondo and what not. It surely isn't going to be making babies smile right away. Give it time, oh those babies will smile and the choirs will sing heavenly beautiful tunes.
As for the final stats, well let's just sum it up like this. Rondo played alright if you take out the turnovers, and Parsons went back in time to about a month ago.