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Fan Fiction Friday: A special April Fool's edition

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A scene from the Mavericks' locker room on April Fool's Day -- at least, as we imagine it.

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

"Hey Dirk," Devin said. "I got you this can of peanuts, as a gift for being such a great basketball player."

"Devin!" Dirk said. "I'm allergic to nuts! Oh no! I can't breathe! I'm dying! Someone get an epi-pen!"

"But..." Devin said as Dirk collapsed. "This is one of those gag gift cans. You know? With the spring-loaded snake things? It's an April Fools joke."

"APRIL FOOLS!" yelled ‘Trix. "I saw that you were going to pull that trick and I replaced the snakes with actual peanuts!"

"I don't think a peanut allergy is something to joke about," Jae said.

"Also, you filled...a fake can of peanuts with actual peanuts? As an April Fools prank?" Wayne said.

"Quiet, Wayne," Coach Carlisle said. "I think we're all more interested in what Jae brought to the table."

"Well alright, so....." Devin said, while Dirk laughed from the floor, "what happened to the dummy snakes then?"

A scream came from the other side of the locker room.

"Ha!" shouted Jose. "I saw 'Trix replace the snakes and I put them in Sam's locker! Hilarious! April Fools!"

"That's pretty funny, Jose," Wayne said.

"AND I REPLACED THE FAKE SNAKES WITH ACTUAL SNAKES" Monta said.

"Wait....you put actual snakes in Sam's locker?" Devin said.

"HAHA! YES! APRIL FOOL'S"

"Like...Poisonous snakes?"

"SNAKES ARE SNAKES MAN. DO I LOOK LIKE A HERPETOLOGIST TO YOU?"

"Monta, what..."

"A HERPETOLOGIST STUDIES AMPHIBIANS AND REPTILES MAN GET AN EDUCATION"

"No, I..."

A green foam was spilling out of Sam's mouth as he lay on the floor.

"Monta, I don't think that was a very good prank," Dirk said, sitting up. "I think Sam is dying."

"EVERYBODY PRANKING EVERYBODY. ALSO I FILLED BRANDAN'S LOCKER WITH BEES."

Wright, in the act of reaching for his locker, took a step back.

"But...Monta...." Devin said.

"MONTA HAS AN ACTUAL PEANUT ALLERGY"

"Wait, what?"

Monta collapsed next to Sam.

"Should we call a doctor?" Devin said.

Dirk stood up and sighed. "I honestly have no idea."

"Did anyone see where the snakes went?" Wayne asked.

"Shut up, Wayne."