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Five Out Offense: Duncan opts in, Dirk plays soccer this week

Also: a video that will change your perspective on Samuel Dalembert FOREVER.

Soobum Im-USA TODAY Sports

(manager's note: Five Out is running early due to scheduling conflicts.)

1. DUNCAN KEEPS SPURS'ING: He opted into the final year of his contract, meaning Mark Cuban's hope that he and Popovich would ride into the sunset after winning the championship won't happen this year. But Duncan and the Spurs have never cared about storylines. He clearly can still play basketball at a high level, so it only makes sense that he'll be back at work next year, doing what he does.

2. NASHY + DIRK PLAY SOME SOCCER: On the heels of his charity baseball game, Dirk is headed to New York for a soccer match with Steve Nash. He talked about before the Heroes game and seemed pretty excited about taking part. All I have to say is that Rick Carlisle and Donnie Nelson better sign him quick before a team in a totally different sport tries to grab him in free agency.

By the way, Dirk said he was NOT going to do any free agency recruiting while in New York, unfortunately. Just a vacation, not a business trip. Which leads to...

3. THE CASE FOR CARMELO AS A MAV: And it's not a Dallas blogger suggesting it! What!? Here's the link, which suggests cap space and supporting cast as the main reasons. Even if Dirk isn't recruiting him this week, there will be plenty of time for it once the calendar hits July.

4. TYRONN LUE HIRED IN CLEVELAND: He'll leave the stability of Los Angeles, where he was an assistant coach for Doc Riversto be the associate head coach with the Cavaliers. If this works out, he'll probably be gunning for a head coaching job within a few years.

5. NOT EXACTLY #DALEMDERP: Kirk dropped the link to this in our email chain and maybe he thought it was just a joke, but I took it VERY seriously. This is Samuel Dalembert dunking from the free throw line, give or take a foot. Like, I don't even know how else to describe this magical piece of found footage, depicted characteristics of a lost species that we never knew existed.