Previewing EVERY Mavericks game this season

Oct. 28, at Suns

The anticipated reunion with Tyson Chandler, who the Mavericks twice told, "Nah, we're good." The game will be close for 46 minutes and OH WOW A MIRZA TELETOVIC DAGGER 3-POINTER, COOL.

Oct. 29, at Clippers

Mark Cuban gets ejected 37 second into the first quarter. We play a drinking game involving DeAndre lobs over Zaza and get alcohol poisoning.

Nov. 1, at Lakers

Kobe hits an incredibly twisting fallaway three-pointer to beat the third quarter buzzer, and finishes the game with 3-of-18 shooting.

Nov. 3, vs. Raptors

First home game with the starting lineup and it really just sunk in that J.J. BAREA is starting until the team gets healthy.

Nov. 5, vs. Hornets

miss u bobcats

Nov. 7, vs. Pelicans

Anthony Davis finishes with 46 points, 16 rebounds and seven blocks. Zaza Pachulia finishes with six points, six rebounds and a block. HE HAD ONE MORE ASSIST, THOUGH.

Nov. 10, at Pelicans

They win this one, though.

Nov. 11, vs. Clippers

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Nov. 13, vs. Lakers

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo sorry they're still echoing in the AAC

Nov. 14, at Rockets

Charlie Villanueva hits, like, seven 3-pointers out of nowhere.

Nov. 16, at 76ers

why

Nov. 18, at Celtics

Jae Crowder definitely scores 20-plus points and Kirk rage-tweets all night.

Nov. 20, vs. Jazz

Jeremy Evans misses SO MANY 3-pointers.

Nov. 22, at Thunder

Durant loves game winners against the Mavericks so that'll probably happen again.

Nov. 24, at Grizzlies

Convincing win! Three weeks of overreaction!

Nov. 25, at Spurs

Less convincing loss. Rationalization: "Well, it was a back-to-back. And come on, Danny Green ALWAYS kills the Mavs."

Nov. 28, vs. Nuggets

Deron Williams is LIT.

Nov. 30, at Kings

Rajon Rondo revenge ga-----hahahahaha no, he plays seven minutes before Carlisle starts hack-a-Rondo.

Dec. 1, at Trail Blazers

Dec. 4, vs. Rockets

Mavericks out-Moreyball the Moreyballers with 15 three-pointers, including five from Parsons.

Dec. 6, at Wizards

This game starts at 6 p.m. and you probably forget it was even happening.

Dec. 7, at Knicks

Randomly decided at the final buzzer but thankfully Derrick Williams takes the final shot.

(obviously he misses)

Dec. 9, vs. Hawks

JOHN JENKINS REVENGE GAME

Dec. 12, vs. Wizards

wait the wizards again come on seriously we just played them (sorry prada)

Dec. 14, vs. Suns

Random vintage Dirk game. Enjoy it.

Dec. 16, at Pacers

MONTA ELLIS REVENGE GAME

Dec. 18, vs. Grizzlies

Zaza Pachulia is out with a groin strain so it's JaVale McGee vs. Marc Gasol. What could possibly go wro--OH GOOD LORD STOP THE BLOODSHED

Dec. 22, at Raptors

Dec. 23, at Nets

Neither team scores 80.

Dec. 26, vs. Bulls

Of course Derrick Rose decides to become 2011 Derrick Rose for a game. (He strains a muscle the next practice and misses the next 10.) (Sorry, those jokes are so tired.)

Dec. 28, vs. Bucks

Giannis goes nuts.

Dec. 30, vs. Warriors

Jan. 1, at Heat

don't talk to me i'm still hungover. (also: happy birthday, Rebecca!)

Jan. 2, vs. Pelicans

Dwight Powell does some stuff.

Jan. 5, vs. Kings

Rajon Rondo nearly records a triple-double while throwing literal daggers at Rick Carlisle. Seriously, I don't know how that's legal. Mavericks win by 25.

Jan. 6, at Pelicans

There's an MVP on the court.

Jan. 8, at Bucks

Jan. 10, at Timberwolves

A rare road blowout for Dallas.

Jan. 12, vs. Cavaliers

A much less rare road blowout for Cleveland.

Jan. 13, at Thunder

I might drive up from Dallas to cover this game. In related news, I'm learning I might be a masochist.

Jan. 15, at Bulls

What is a Cameron Bairstow and why did he just score 18?

Jan. 17, at Spurs

... basketball is stupid

Jan 18, vs. Celtics

Justin Anderson scores 24!? Basketball is fun again.

Jan. 20, vs. Timberwolves

When you realize Wesley Matthews was worth every penny.

Jan. 22, vs. Thunder

Fox Sports Southwest actually uses a laugh track for this game. They hit play every time Enes Kanter tries to defend Dirk in the post. Or anyone, really.

Jan. 24, at Rockets

JaVale McGee's airmailed dunk easily makes Shaqtin' A Fool. They missed him.

Jan. 26, at Lakers

Nick Young's shot selection gets the Mavericks' game ball.

Jan. 27, at Warriors

Jan. 29, vs. Nets

I just want to apologize right now to anyone who will be in the stands for this one. I'm so sorry.

Jan. 31, vs. Suns

Tyson grabs 22 rebounds minimum.

Feb. 1, at Hawks

Bench scores 67 in one of the most impressive wins of the year.

Feb. 3, vs. Heat

DIRK LEAVES IN THE FIRST QUARTER PANIC PANIC -- nope, just a rolled ankle, he'll be back after halftime.

Feb. 5, vs. Spurs

Why is Kawhi so good?

Feb. 6, at Grizzlies

Felton replaces an injured Deron and the game goes exactly how you'd expect.

Feb. 9, vs. Jazz

If you combined every center on the Mavericks roster, would they collectively be better than Rudy Gobert?

Feb. 19, at Magic

A hungover Parsons scores 42 anyway. This is his MJ sick game.

Feb. 21, vs. 76ers

could always be worse yanno

Feb. 24, vs. Thunder

Feb. 26, vs. Nuggets

Dirk buries a game winner off of a broken play and we love him for it.

Feb. 28, vs. Timberwolves

Let's just have a Evans-LaVine-Wiggins dunk off instead of this game.

March 1, vs. Magic

... did JaVale McGee seriously just attempt a 3-pointer in transition?

March 3, vs. Kings

I bet the George Karl and Rajon Rondo relationship is working out juuuust fine right about now.

March 6, at Nuggets

MELVIN HUNT REVENGE GAME

March 7, vs. Clippers

Charlie Villanueva, Devin Harris and Salah Mejri all foul out with hack-a-DeAndre and this four-hour game of free throw clanking is one of the most beautiful sights I ever witness. The boos ring freely, the signs are brutal and for one night, Dallas feels better about their plight.

March 9, vs. Pistons

Best website content crew in the NBA!

March 12, vs. Pacers

There's a 15-point fourth quarter comeback. I haven't decided for which team.

March 14, at Hornets

Not relevant to this game, but it's the anniversary of the Chris Kaman fast break you'll never forget!

March 16, at Cavaliers

March 18, vs. Warriors

"Any plans tonight? Want to watch the Mavericks?"

"Ah man, I totally would but I think instead I'm going to go drive into a lake."

March 20, vs. Trail Blazers

By now, Wesley Matthews is healthy, still mad at Portland and ...

March 23, at Trail Blazers

... has hit his rhythm. Two games of fire emojis.

March 25, at Warriors

Justin Anderson gets Steph on a poster dunk. I watch the Vine of it for an hour straight.

March 27, at Kings

March 28, at Nuggets

Okay, seriously, Wilson Chandler isn't this good, tell him to cut it out already.

March 30, vs. Knicks

John Jenkins catches that preseason flow again and it's beautiful.

April 1, at Pistons

Sadly, guarding Andre Drummond with Zaza Pachulia isn't actually an April Fool's joke.

April 3, at Timberwolves

Dirk's still got it, guys.

April 6, vs. Rockets

Khloe finally returns one of James Harden's texts, so it's really not all that surprising he's held to seven points on 2-of-12 shooting.

April 8, vs. Grizzlies

Any chance Memphis can be the 2011 Mavericks or nah?

April 10, at Clippers

The Mavericks win but it's really just the basketball gods getting cosmic karma for Los Angeles' terrifyingly bad uniforms.

April 11, at Jazz

Could have major playoff implications. Also, could not.

April 13, vs. Spurs

And fin.