Oct. 28, at Suns
The anticipated reunion with Tyson Chandler, who the Mavericks twice told, "Nah, we're good." The game will be close for 46 minutes and OH WOW A MIRZA TELETOVIC DAGGER 3-POINTER, COOL.
Oct. 29, at Clippers
Mark Cuban gets ejected 37 second into the first quarter. We play a drinking game involving DeAndre lobs over Zaza and get alcohol poisoning.
Nov. 1, at Lakers
Kobe hits an incredibly twisting fallaway three-pointer to beat the third quarter buzzer, and finishes the game with 3-of-18 shooting.
Nov. 3, vs. Raptors
First home game with the starting lineup and it really just sunk in that J.J. BAREA is starting until the team gets healthy.
Nov. 5, vs. Hornets
miss u bobcats
Nov. 7, vs. Pelicans
Anthony Davis finishes with 46 points, 16 rebounds and seven blocks. Zaza Pachulia finishes with six points, six rebounds and a block. HE HAD ONE MORE ASSIST, THOUGH.
Nov. 10, at Pelicans
They win this one, though.
Nov. 11, vs. Clippers
Nov. 13, vs. Lakers
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo sorry they're still echoing in the AAC
Nov. 14, at Rockets
Charlie Villanueva hits, like, seven 3-pointers out of nowhere.
Nov. 16, at 76ers
Nov. 18, at Celtics
Jae Crowder definitely scores 20-plus points and Kirk rage-tweets all night.
Nov. 20, vs. Jazz
Jeremy Evans misses SO MANY 3-pointers.
Nov. 22, at Thunder
Durant loves game winners against the Mavericks so that'll probably happen again.
Nov. 24, at Grizzlies
Convincing win! Three weeks of overreaction!
Nov. 25, at Spurs
Less convincing loss. Rationalization: "Well, it was a back-to-back. And come on, Danny Green ALWAYS kills the Mavs."
Nov. 28, vs. Nuggets
Deron Williams is LIT.
Nov. 30, at Kings
Rajon Rondo revenge ga-----hahahahaha no, he plays seven minutes before Carlisle starts hack-a-Rondo.
Dec. 1, at Trail Blazers
Dec. 4, vs. Rockets
Mavericks out-Moreyball the Moreyballers with 15 three-pointers, including five from Parsons.
Dec. 6, at Wizards
This game starts at 6 p.m. and you probably forget it was even happening.
Dec. 7, at Knicks
Randomly decided at the final buzzer but thankfully Derrick Williams takes the final shot.
(obviously he misses)
Dec. 9, vs. Hawks
JOHN JENKINS REVENGE GAME
Dec. 12, vs. Wizards
wait the wizards again come on seriously we just played them (sorry prada)
Dec. 14, vs. Suns
Random vintage Dirk game. Enjoy it.
Dec. 16, at Pacers
MONTA ELLIS REVENGE GAME
Dec. 18, vs. Grizzlies
Zaza Pachulia is out with a groin strain so it's JaVale McGee vs. Marc Gasol. What could possibly go wro--OH GOOD LORD STOP THE BLOODSHED
Dec. 22, at Raptors
Dec. 23, at Nets
Neither team scores 80.
Dec. 26, vs. Bulls
Of course Derrick Rose decides to become 2011 Derrick Rose for a game. (He strains a muscle the next practice and misses the next 10.) (Sorry, those jokes are so tired.)
Dec. 28, vs. Bucks
Giannis goes nuts.
Dec. 30, vs. Warriors
Jan. 1, at Heat
don't talk to me i'm still hungover. (also: happy birthday, Rebecca!)
Jan. 2, vs. Pelicans
Dwight Powell does some stuff.
Jan. 5, vs. Kings
Rajon Rondo nearly records a triple-double while throwing literal daggers at Rick Carlisle. Seriously, I don't know how that's legal. Mavericks win by 25.
Jan. 6, at Pelicans
There's an MVP on the court.
Jan. 8, at Bucks
Jan. 10, at Timberwolves
A rare road blowout for Dallas.
Jan. 12, vs. Cavaliers
A much less rare road blowout for Cleveland.
Jan. 13, at Thunder
I might drive up from Dallas to cover this game. In related news, I'm learning I might be a masochist.
Jan. 15, at Bulls
What is a Cameron Bairstow and why did he just score 18?
Jan. 17, at Spurs
... basketball is stupid
Jan 18, vs. Celtics
Justin Anderson scores 24!? Basketball is fun again.
Jan. 20, vs. Timberwolves
When you realize Wesley Matthews was worth every penny.
Jan. 22, vs. Thunder
Fox Sports Southwest actually uses a laugh track for this game. They hit play every time Enes Kanter tries to defend Dirk in the post. Or anyone, really.
Jan. 24, at Rockets
JaVale McGee's airmailed dunk easily makes Shaqtin' A Fool. They missed him.
Jan. 26, at Lakers
Nick Young's shot selection gets the Mavericks' game ball.
Jan. 27, at Warriors
Jan. 29, vs. Nets
I just want to apologize right now to anyone who will be in the stands for this one. I'm so sorry.
Jan. 31, vs. Suns
Tyson grabs 22 rebounds minimum.
Feb. 1, at Hawks
Bench scores 67 in one of the most impressive wins of the year.
Feb. 3, vs. Heat
DIRK LEAVES IN THE FIRST QUARTER PANIC PANIC -- nope, just a rolled ankle, he'll be back after halftime.
Feb. 5, vs. Spurs
Why is Kawhi so good?
Feb. 6, at Grizzlies
Felton replaces an injured Deron and the game goes exactly how you'd expect.
Feb. 9, vs. Jazz
If you combined every center on the Mavericks roster, would they collectively be better than Rudy Gobert?
Feb. 19, at Magic
A hungover Parsons scores 42 anyway. This is his MJ sick game.
Feb. 21, vs. 76ers
could always be worse yanno
Feb. 24, vs. Thunder
Feb. 26, vs. Nuggets
Dirk buries a game winner off of a broken play and we love him for it.
Feb. 28, vs. Timberwolves
Let's just have a Evans-LaVine-Wiggins dunk off instead of this game.
March 1, vs. Magic
... did JaVale McGee seriously just attempt a 3-pointer in transition?
March 3, vs. Kings
I bet the George Karl and Rajon Rondo relationship is working out juuuust fine right about now.
March 6, at Nuggets
MELVIN HUNT REVENGE GAME
March 7, vs. Clippers
Charlie Villanueva, Devin Harris and Salah Mejri all foul out with hack-a-DeAndre and this four-hour game of free throw clanking is one of the most beautiful sights I ever witness. The boos ring freely, the signs are brutal and for one night, Dallas feels better about their plight.
March 9, vs. Pistons
Best website content crew in the NBA!
March 12, vs. Pacers
There's a 15-point fourth quarter comeback. I haven't decided for which team.
March 14, at Hornets
Not relevant to this game, but it's the anniversary of the Chris Kaman fast break you'll never forget!
March 16, at Cavaliers
March 18, vs. Warriors
"Any plans tonight? Want to watch the Mavericks?"
"Ah man, I totally would but I think instead I'm going to go drive into a lake."
March 20, vs. Trail Blazers
By now, Wesley Matthews is healthy, still mad at Portland and ...
March 23, at Trail Blazers
... has hit his rhythm. Two games of fire emojis.
March 25, at Warriors
Justin Anderson gets Steph on a poster dunk. I watch the Vine of it for an hour straight.
March 27, at Kings
March 28, at Nuggets
Okay, seriously, Wilson Chandler isn't this good, tell him to cut it out already.
March 30, vs. Knicks
John Jenkins catches that preseason flow again and it's beautiful.
April 1, at Pistons
Sadly, guarding Andre Drummond with Zaza Pachulia isn't actually an April Fool's joke.
April 3, at Timberwolves
Dirk's still got it, guys.
April 6, vs. Rockets
Khloe finally returns one of James Harden's texts, so it's really not all that surprising he's held to seven points on 2-of-12 shooting.
April 8, vs. Grizzlies
Any chance Memphis can be the 2011 Mavericks or nah?
April 10, at Clippers
The Mavericks win but it's really just the basketball gods getting cosmic karma for Los Angeles' terrifyingly bad uniforms.
April 11, at Jazz
Could have major playoff implications. Also, could not.
April 13, vs. Spurs