Today marks the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens and as mandated by internet law for every internet writer in the universe, Mavs Moneyball is bringing you some Star Wars related content.
(Failure to produce said content gets you court-marshaled and thrown into jail or forced to write a slate.com editorial deeming something problematic.)
I am a huge Star Wars fan so I thought of the totally unique and original idea of comparing some of the Dallas Mavericks players to Star Wars characters. Since I'm such a big fan of Star Wars and sci-fi, I just went off the top of my head -- no research required! I mean, what's the big deal?!?!?
DIRK NOWITZKI AS LUKE SKYWALKER
As the unheralded leader of the the Mavericks, Dirk shares lot of the same qualities as the fearless captain of the USS Enterprise, who also secretly trained at night to become a magic space ninja.
Just like Skywalker, Dirk grew to prominence thanks to a wise old mentor. Dirk's was Holger Geschwindner. We'll get to Skywalker's in a minute.
WES MATTHEWS AS CAPTAIN MALCOLM REYNOLDS
A straight-shooting, no-nonsense man with rugged good looks and a questionably charming personality. How could Wes be anymore like fan-favorite Star Wars character and Millennium Falcon captain Malcolm Reynolds (Mal for short).
They both also don't mind doing the dirty work -- as long as they both get paid. Shame Wes doesn't share a similar furry sidekick like Mal does with Barf, the half-man half-dog.
RICK CARLISLE AS DUMBLEDORE
An NBA coach who uses his warlock powers to get the most out of mediocre rosters? Sounds like a certain famous wizard professor who moonlighted as a Starfleet captain! It's obvious Rick is Dumbledore.
Dumbledore, of course, met Luke at his school for the gifted, where he taught Luke all his magic powers. Little did Luke know that Dumbledore was also secretly the Starfleet commander that recommended him to control his own ship.
Just like Dumbledore, Rick is wise and powerful although we don't always understand his methods or plan until we see it in action.
J.J. BAREA AS AN EWOK
I'm not THAT dumb.
CHARLIE VILLANUEVA AS GREEDO
Since Charlie V has joined the Mavericks he's never hesitated to shoot first, much like a certain beloved alien stockbroker.
MARK CUBAN AS WATTO
Two businessmen that always think they're the smartest guy in the room until they get burned.