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The Dirk Hair Tournament: (1) Beard Dirk vs. (8) Olympics Dirk

Surely the No. 1 seed cannot be touched this early, right?

Beard Dirk


Duration: February to April 2012 as part of the Beard Pact

Signature Moment: Game-winning 3-pointer against Chicago

Why this is Dirk's best look: Basketball Jesus Lives!

This is the only time Dirk has ever looked as good as he played. Just beautiful. All of his spectacular game-changing talent visualized in a mangy beard. Perfect.

The beard came to be from a team-wide challenge to grow beards until the Mavs reached a +500 record. Super sad, I know. But only Dirk can take a depressing thing and turn it a full-fledged miracle. And I mean it, this thing is a legit miracle.

It could totally walk on water. Seriously, try dipping the beard in a bucket of water and tell me it doesn't turn into wine.

- Jason Gallagher

Olympics Dirk


Duration: Olympics 2008

Signature Moment: Flag bearer for Germany

Why this is Dirk's best look: When thinking about Dirk's Olympic Rings hair, it's tempting to say that there are NO WORDS. But let's try.

For context, this little gem of a hairstyle happened in 2008 when Dirk was the official flag bearer for Germany at the summer Olympics in Beijing. So, sure, Olympic spirit. But the best part about this hairstyle is that it's so completely out of character for Dirk. He even looks slightly uncomfortable with it in photos. I'm guessing that he and his teammates were out drinking, and someone said, "Let's shave the Olympic rings into our heads!" (in German, obviously) and Dirk and maybe half of everyone else was like, "JA!" and they did it. And then felt a deep sense of regret. That's what really shines through in this haircut. Dirk's palpable air of remorse at inflicting this on himself and all of us.

- Kelly Ketchersid

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