clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The Dirk Hair Tournament: (4) Bowl Dirk vs. (5) Chin Patch Dirk

I'm calling this the wacky hair showdown.

Bowl Dirk


Duration: Draft day.

Signature moment: He's a Maverick! Tractor Traylor isn't!

Why this is his greatest look:This is the Sharknado of hair styles. The look is so overwhelmingly bad, that's it's actually kind of awesome and I can't turn away.

First off, it's kind of a bowl cut. Second, it's kind of a bowl cut that's been parted down the middle. And finally, it's kind of a bowl cut that's been parted down the middle THAT'S ALSO BEEN DYED BLEACH BLONDE.

I'm not sure how much accessories are weighted in the decision-making process but that earring has to count for a whole letter grade. It's the perfect touch to a perfect hair style that looks like a combo between a fancy pirate, early 90's Hugh Grant and every member of New Kids on the Block.

- Jason Gallagher

Chin Patch Dirk

Chin Patch

Duration: Large stretches of his career from 2002-ish to 2006

Signature moment: The layup.

Why this is his greatest look: Sometimes you look back at old pictures and wonder what you were thinking when you got that haircut. Most of the time, the answer is that you weren't. Like Dirk on draft day above, most of us are fairly content to go with whatever is on trend at the time, even if that makes us look a little ridiculous later on.

What makes the Dirk chin patch so great is that this look was never actually cool. It was just as ridiculous then as it is now, and that's what makes it so badass. Just look at his face in the picture: that is the look of a man who clearly DGAF. Monta thinks he has it all? Dude's got nothing on Dirk's chin patch.

- Kate Crawford

Back to the Dirk Hair Tournament home page.