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The Dirk Hair Tournament: (1) Beard Dirk vs. (5) Chin Patch Dirk

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The No. 1 seed moves on to face Chin Patch Dirk, he earned a mild upset in the first round.

Beard Dirk

Beard

Duration: February to April 2012 as part of the Beard Pact

Signature Moment: Game-winning 3-pointer against Chicago

Why this is Dirk's best look: Basketball Jesus Lives!

This is the only time Dirk has ever looked as good as he played. Just beautiful. All of his spectacular game-changing talent visualized in a mangy beard. Perfect.

The beard came to be from a team-wide challenge to grow beards until the Mavs reached a +500 record. Super sad, I know. But only Dirk can take a depressing thing and turn it a full-fledged miracle. And I mean it, this thing is a legit miracle.

It could totally walk on water. Seriously, try dipping the beard in a bucket of water and tell me it doesn't turn into wine.

- Jason Gallagher

Chin Patch Dirk

Chin Patch

Duration: Large stretches of his career from 2002-ish to 2006

Signature moment: The layup.

Why this is his greatest look: Sometimes you look back at old pictures and wonder what you were thinking when you got that haircut. Most of the time, the answer is that you weren't. Like Dirk on draft day above, most of us are fairly content to go with whatever is on trend at the time, even if that makes us look a little ridiculous later on.

What makes the Dirk chin patch so great is that this look was never actually cool. It was just as ridiculous then as it is now, and that's what makes it so badass. Just look at his face in the picture: that is the look of a man who clearly DGAF. Monta thinks he has it all? Dude's got nothing on Dirk's chin patch.

- Kate Crawford

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