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Happy birthday, Mark Cuban, we got you presents

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What do you get a billionaire owner who can literally buy anything?

Mark Cuban, the Mavericks' outspoken owner and possible vice presidential candidate, turns 57 today. While it's difficult to think that we could offer Cuban anything for his birthday, other than free press, a few of us here at Mavs Moneyball have a few items that we feel he deserves. It turns out there are a few things that a billionaire doesn't already have.

Tim Cato: With Cuban-American relations on the mend, the easy answer is a pack of cigars, but let's venture even further into the blue gulf waters: just buy Cuba itself for Mark. Imagine how much fun he could have as president of an entire nation! If he can rid the U.S. of a sharknado infestation, he's clearly a viable candidate to replace Castro.

Bailey Rogers: I would get Cuban some sort of artsy shark statute to display in or around his home. Between Shark Tank and Sharknado, it is clear that Cuban has a thing for these dangerous monsters of the sea.

Doyle Rader: For years now, Cuban has been buying up land around the intersection of Northwest Highway and the Dallas North Tollway. His long term plans for the land aren't definite but they revolve around construction of an office complex. However, he has met opposition from people whose land abuts his and others in the neighborhood known as Preston Hollow. These are some of the wealthiest people in Dallas. Former mayor Laura Miller and current councilwoman Jennifer Staubach Gates, daughter of Dallas Cowboys legend Roger Staubach, are also skeptical about his proposed development. It appears that Cuban is willing to wait everyone out in hopes that he will be greeted with a friendlier reception in the future. But for his birthday, I want all the detractors to just let Cuban do what he wants with his land. Maybe he'll build a Dirk theme park. That would be amazing.

And finally, the icing on the cake really, we present Cuban with this gift from Jason Gallagher:

dust on

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARK!