I'm being serious. Jordan agreed to sign with the Mavericks on Friday but the team now fears they won't even get an audience with the 26-year-old center, per ESPN. "The Clippers have essentially surrounded him," which sounds like an oceanic horror story but is actual words that Stein tweeted out. Stein and Yahoo! Sports' Adrian Wojnarowski both confirmed that Jordan had agreed to return.
In fact, the Mavericks reportedly hadn't even talked to Jordan since Tuesday. Apparently, DeAndre won't even take a phone call from Cuban or Parsons on Thursday night, per Tim MacMahon of ESPN Dallas.
Earlier in the day, Clippers -- led by Chris Paul, Steve Ballmer and Doc Rivers, but also with a few other players -- are apparently not leaving Jordan's house until 11 p.m. ET, when the NBA moratorium ends and he can officially sign. This is daytime soap opera television levels of unrealistic -- except it's apparently happening right now at Jordan's Houston home.
Without Jordan, the Mavericks are screwed. We wrote about the impact that scenario would have here. We also wrote about what legal actions the Mavericks could take if Jordan breaks his verbal agreement.
Other than that, I don't know what to tell you. We're still processing this just the same as you.