The NFL starts this weekend. That's the sport where a bunch of insane athletes go around causing brain injuries to each other. Despite that, we all still like it. I can never resist a good crossover so here's what the Mavericks roster would look like if you had to line 'em up in an NFL roster.
Oh, and I'm sure some of these American players were football stars in high school, but this article is not worth doing the research to see who they were and what position they played so don't expect that to be reflected. Feel free to let me know in the comments, though!
Quarterback: Chandler Parsons
He was born to be the face of a team. At 6'9, he can see over the defense and should be able to make some Big Ben-like rumbles for first downs when the pocket collapses. And check out that arm!
Running back: Raymond Felton
The Mavericks are clearly opting for a power run game and Felton has DeMarco Murray-like dimensions. Plus, I bet Felton's a fantastic blocking back.
Wide receivers: Jamil Wilson, Jeremy Evans, J.J. Barea
If you're just now vaguely remembering the Mavs signing a Jamil Wilson to a non-guaranteed deal, here's a refresher. I don't really know if he'd make a good wide receiver but let's see! Jeremy Evans is a red zone leaping threat. J.J. Barea is clearly our slot man who has a knack for finding openings in a defense.
Tight end: Dirk Nowitzki
Dirk has good hands! I don't want the old man to get banged up more than he has to, but he's clearly not playing on the defense at this point of his career, nor does offensive line seem like a good position for him. So tight end it is.
Offensive line: Samuel Dalembert, Salah Mejri, Dwight Powell, Zaza Pachulia, Satnam Singh
On the offensive line, the center has to react to the defense and tell the line how to shift and adjust. Dwight Powell would be perfect for that. I'm a bit nervous with ol' Sammy D at left tackle, given his tendency to fall asleep, but oh well. I've never been more excited for a sports player's career, though, than Satnam Singh playing right tackle.
Defensive line: Brandon Ashley, Jarrid Famous, JaVale McGee
Brandon Ashley blends power and speed while JaVale McGee is all quickness coming around the edge in a 3-4 defense here. Jarrid Famous is a nose tackle I guess.
Linebackers: Deron Williams, Wesley Matthews, Justin Anderson, Charlie Villaneuva
I almost put down Matthews in the backfield, but he's a perfect outside linebacker. Makes up for his lack of speed with intellect and toughness. He's also a great mentor for the young stud first rounder Justin Anderson, who has the tools to develop into an all-time NFL great at the position. Deron Williams is quicker but still has the power to make him a quality pass rusher. Charlie V is, uh ... I didn't know where else to put him.
Cornerbacks: Devin Harris, John Jenkins
Devin Harris at cornerback is perhaps the best crossover on this entire roster. He's not too big, incredibly quick and prone to injuries! Sounds like literally every cornerback the Cowboys have ever had on their roster. (miss u already scandrick) John Jenkins has the same last name as Mike Jenkins which might be a good thing but I'm not really sure.
Safeties: Maurice N'dour, Darrell Armstrong
N'Dour is such an athlete that I felt comfortable putting him almost anywhere. I ended up deciding safety, where he can blow up running plays as comfortably as he covers receivers. And to get to 22, I had to bring current Mavs assistant Darrell Armstrong out of retirement. Sorry Darrell.
Punter/Kicker/Coach: Rick Carlisle
I listed his duties in order of importance.