Pokemon Go has made us all revert back to our 13-year-old selves. With the NBA as diverse as the Pokemon world, it’s hard not to compare the Mavericks to our favorite Pokemon. Sometimes comparing a point guard to a center can be tough, but at least this way we can put it in a different medium.
Assuming Rick Carlisle is Ash Ketchum, let’s check out his lineup:
Dirk - Alakazam
It has an IQ of 5000. It calculates many things in order to gain the edge in every battle.
Dirk is Alakazam for a number of reasons. First and foremost, notice the spoons. What could he possibly be using those spoons for? Probably to eat leftovers from his wife before battles. Secondly, Alakazam is one of the best psychic Pokemon in the game (behind Mewtwo and maybe Espeon), while Dirk is one of the best Power Forwards to ever play the game. Finally, Kadabra has to be traded for it to evolve into Alakazam. Remind me again how Dallas obtained Dirk on draft night?
Harrison Barnes - Egg
In the Johto region, towards the beginning of the game you're handed an egg. The egg can hatch into a few different Pokemon: some with strong potential, like a Tyrogue or Elekid; others can hatch into a worthless Togepi or Clefa. We aren't entirely sure of what Barnes is going to bring to Dallas since his development was stunted with Andre Iguodala cutting into his minutes. If he hatches into a Togepi, I'm cool with restarting the game and crossing our fingers for an Elekid.
Andrew Bogut - Rhydon
Walks on its hind legs. Shows signs of intelligence. Its armor-like hide even repels molten lava.
Rhydon has one of the highest defenses in all of Pokemon. Unfortunately, he's made of rock so he has a lot of weaknesses -- for Bogut, that's where his injuries come in. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Bogut's skin could also repel molten lava.
Deron Williams - Psyduck
It has mystical powers but doesn't recall that it has used them. That is why it always looks puzzled.
In the show, Psyduck has a short memory, popping out of it's pokeball far too many times without being asked to; specifically in times of distress. Fortunately for Ash, Misty, and Brock, Psyduck comes through in a hand-full of those times and saves the day. The Deron Williams we have still has a few mystical powers, but rarely uses them. Fortunately for us, he had a few game-saving moments last year.
Wes Matthews - Marowak
The bone it holds is its key weapon. It throws the bone skillfully like a boomerang to KO targets.
There aren't any Pokemon that shoot bow and arrows, so a bonemerang is the next best thing. Also fitting, defense is Marowak's best stat - by far.
J.J. Barea - Magikarp
Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only capable of flopping and splashing. This behavior prompted scientists to undertake research into it.
Ouch, okay, maybe J.J. Barea isn't necessarily a "pathetic excuse" for a basketball player; on the contrary, he was a great option off the bench for Dallas. Quite frankly, the only reason I gave J.J. Barea Magikarp is because Magikarp just flops around and does nothing else, exactly what J.J. does on defense.
Devin Harris - Electrode
Stores electrical energy inside its body. Even the slightest shock could trigger a huge explosion.
Harris is always injured in some form or fashion. It seems that he's always a game-time decision. Electrode's signature move is explosion - instantly bringing his health to zero. One of the worst things to ever happen in battle while using an Electrode is when your explosion misses. You literally kill yourself and this cosmic explosion that destroys everything in sight happens to miss your opponent.
Devin Harris uses explosion, faints, and misses his opponent. Devin Harris is out for a week.
Justin Anderson - Ivysaur
The bulb on its back grows by drawing energy. It gives off an aroma when it is ready to bloom.
Of the three starters (Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and Charmander), Bulbasaur's evolution tree is the fastest. Ivysaur evolves into Venusaur at a quick 32, while the others are at 36. Justin Anderson is anything but a late bloomer. He developed quickly towards the end of the season and plugged in nicely when Chandler Parsons was out in the playoffs. His bulb is growing quickly and might evolve soon.
Quincy Acy - Ditto
When it spots an enemy, its body transfigures into an almost perfect copy of its opponent.
Acy has been on five different teams in five years. He hasn't had the best production output, but he's done alright at adapting to his environment. Without any chemistry with his teammates, he's made the best out of whatever crummy hand has been dealt his way. Hopefully, he can continue to transform into whatever role Coach Carlisle wants him in.
Seth Curry - Cubone
Wears the skull of its deceased mother. Its cries echo inside the skull and come out as a sad melody.
No relation to Wes Matthews, Cubone wears the mask of its dead mom. Creepy. Seth Curry, on the other hand, wears the last name of his MVP brother on his jersey. He feels the need to live up to the expectations of his brother (and father, for that matter), and until he wins MVP, he'll never evolve.
Salah Mejri - Electabuzz
It loves to feed on strong electricity. It occasionally appears around large power plants and so on.
Remember last season when the Tunisian Tower came out of nowhere and took the team by storm? Mejri quickly turned into a crowd favorite (or at least my favorite) and was utilized against smaller, quicker lineups. Although Mejri is more comparable to Coco from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, I'm going with Electabuzz, based purely off of the Pokedex entry. Mejri feasted off the crowd's energy, which led to many Salah-slams.
Dwight Powell - Kangaskhan's baby
The infant rarely ventures out of its mother's protective pouch until it is 3 years old.
Powell came over in the Rajon Rondo deal and was put on the back burner. With all eyes on Rondo, Powell was mostly looked at as a joke. Just recently have we started to appreciate that not all was lost in the Rondo trade. In this comparison, Rondo is Kangaskhan, and Powell is the baby. In a few years, this baby Kangaskhan will hopefully turn into something worthwhile.
A.J. Hammons - Clefable
A timid fairy POKéMON that is rarely seen. It will run and hide the moment it senses people.
We have yet to see what Hammons can bring to the team, so until then, he's hiding like a Clefable.