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What was Rick Carlisle really doing at Game 2?

A totally true, definitely not fictional account of the real reason the Mavericks coach was in Oakland.

Dallas Mavericks v Denver Nuggets Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

Here’s what we know:

On Sunday night, Dallas Mavericks Head Coach Rick Carlisle was in Oakland, California.


He was there to be a part of a ceremony taking place at Oracle Arena before the start of Game 2 of the NBA Finals.

What was the ceremony?

The ceremony was to present the 2017 Chuck Daly Lifetime Achievement Award on behalf of the National Basketball Coaches Association (NBCA) of former coaching greats Al Attles and Hubie Brown.

So why Carlisle?

Carlisle is the President of the NBCA and issued a statement in that capacity.

“Coach Attles and Coach Brown have made gigantic and wide-ranging contributions to the NBA game and coaching profession over the last several decades. Their recognition as co-recipients of the Chuck Daly Lifetime Achievement Award is well-deserved.”

You can read more about Chuck Daly Lifetime Achievement Award as well as coach Attles and Brown here.

OK, so that’s what we know. What we don’t know is the REAL reason Carlisle was on hand for the second game of the Finals. But I have a pretty astute guess.

First, you have to ask yourself, “did Carlisle fly himself to Oakland?” He is an accomplished aviator, after all. And if he did fly himself, it certainly wasn’t just for leisure. Oh no, not with ol’ Rick. He’s to crafty for that.

It stands to reason that Carlisle did fly himself to Game 2 because his plane is outfitted with top secret technology, similar to that of a U2 spy plane, paid for and developed by one of Mark Cuban’s many shadow technology companies. We know he has them. How else do you find Yogi Ferrell in the backwoods of Pennsylvania or where ever he was when the Mavs signed him to his first 10-day contract?

But this plane isn’t like a typical spy plane. It’s not looking for Russian intervention on U.S. soil. You can find plenty of that in Washington D.C. No, it’s running advanced analytic analysis of every single play, let alone movement, that happens during Game 2.

“Carlisle didn’t park his plane in the arena,” you say. It doesn’t matter where the plane is located. It’s continually linked to a global satellite network, allowing it to patch into every electronic device in a designated area. You thought only Batman had this technology? Please. Where do you think the writers of The Dark Knight got the idea? Oh, and by the way, the plane can also operate independently of human control. It’s like KITT in that respect.

We can assume that Carlisle is already analyzing all the data that he collected during his trip to Oakland. Chances are he’s already thought up 1,365 different defensive schemes the Cleveland Cavaliers can use to win Game 3. Several of them even include significant playing time for Derrick Williams. Carlisle is just that good. Unfortunately, his respect of the game and his role as President of the NBCA prevents him from sharing any of it with Tyronn Lue. Besides, he can’t tip his hat to what his playbook might hold for next season.

And that’s what this is really all about, after all: next season. Carlisle now knows how to stop the Golden State Warriors on paper. He knows the ins and outs of how they play. The data has shown him everything. He’s become one with it like Captain Willard Decker and V’ger. Now, all he has to do is put his players in position to play the kind of basketball that will upend the Warrior’s reign.

Nothing is what it seems in 2017. Carlisle’s visit to the Finals wasn’t for an awards ceremony. He was there on a spy mission. He was there to gather all the intel he possibly could so that the Mavs will rise to the top of the league with their young core. He has everything he needs now. Next season he shall unleash upon the league a team that no one predicted and no one has the ability to stop.

It will be glorious but Twitter will still be mad.