A guide to Luka Doncic’s official website

Lukamania is sweeping the NBA and the internet. Luka Doncic is everywhere you look. Not only is the Dallas Mavericks’ rookie sensation covered by the staff here at Mavs Moneyball, national outlets such as The Ringer and Sports Illustrated are getting in on the fun as well. While we’re all enjoying Doncic bask in the media spotlight, he’s seizing the moment as a marketing opportunity and running with it.

This week, Doncic launched his official website (lukadoncic.com) where fans can learn more about the Slovenian sensation and buy some Doncic-branded merchandise. What more can fans of #77 ask for? Well, how about a guide to said site? You’re in luck because MMB is the only place to turn to for EXCLUSIVE coverage of player websites. So, read along as I take you on a tour of the greatest website (excluding mavsmoneyball.com) ever created.

Home

OK, so you’ve opened Doncic’s site for the first time. After your eye’s adjust from the almost Biblically blinding white light erupting from the page, you see him. There he is in all his thicc glory—Luka. And what’s this? Look how he’s standing. He’s holding aloft a basketball and staring deep into its soul. It’s an image dripping with literary pedigree. You can almost hear him reciting Hamlet’s pained, famous soliloquy. His depth and range moves even Kenneth Branagh.

Then to the left, the text. Yes, that’s right, savvy Luka fan, it’s another ode to history. Where as Doncic’s pose belies a Shakespearean tragedy, the quote references another famous speech, this time from an English Prime Minister.

“Never give up! Never surrender!” the text reads. It’s Doncic’s slogan. It’s also almost a verbatim quote from Winston Churchill’s “We shall fight on the beaches” address that he gave to the House of Commons in June of 1940, at the height of the Battle of France that was raging across the English Channel. If we are to glean anything from the use of this language it’s that Doncic’s resolve is steadfast and true in the face of overwhelming and uncertain odds. He also hates fascists.

This all culminates to create a rather odd introduction to the site. Although Doncic hails from Ljubljana, Slovenia, the homepage of his site reads like an homage to British culture. Perhaps he has fond memories of visiting Gibraltar during his years in Spain.

My Story

Here we have a little bit about Doncic’s basketball provenance. The opening paragraph covers his achievements playing for both the Slovenian national team as well as with Real Madrid. And while his credentials are impressive, the “basketball experts” that say the sky is the limit for Doncic clearly aren’t thinking universally. There is no limit. The universe is ever-expanding. Crack open a Neil deGrasse Tyson book, experts!

History (subcategory)

It doesn’t matter what this page says. LOOK AT CUTE TODDLER LUKA! OMG!!!!!

Yo, wait, he knows Judo?

Achievements (subcategory)

Wow, this is a long list and a lot of things say MVP. But like, whatever. He didn’t win anything playing against subpar, future accountants in the NCAA so none of them must matter all that much.

Some unknown facts about Luka (subcategory)

This is the good stuff. If you want to get to know who he is as a person, take notes. Fans get insight into his personal life and interests, like his favorite food, which is pasta (stay thicc). It makes sense that his favorite TV show is Friends because, even though the site doesn’t have the courage to tell us, Jennifer Aniston is his celebrity crush. Oh, and he has over 200 pairs of shoes, some of which may or may not be dancing shoes.

Want to know more? Watch this video that the site includes:

Store

OK, here are the goods.

*crickets*

Right now, the only product Doncic has available on his site is a wall calendar for €34,90. That’s $39.50. Boy, the dollar must not be doing great if the Euro is valued higher. Anyway, the calendar must be worth 40 bucks since it uses “natural silk photo paper.” And hey, it features Luka as Hamlet on the cover so that’s fun.

Alas, there aren’t any of the shoes he’s designed for sale here. Nor any autographed merchandise. Hopefully, though, fans will one day be able to purchase a CD of him singing all the songs from Momma Mia.

News

This is personal now. It appears that Doncic’s site is getting into the blog game, giving fans blurbs about what’s happening with the Dallas Mavericks—like the team’s recent blowout of the Houston Rockets. That’s fine. Everyone knows the hard-hitting content that readers crave can be found here at MMB (and anywhere my byline appears).

That said, if the site really wants to get into the blog game, it needs to beef up its presence. A couple of paragraphs about a game isn’t going to drive readership. Fans want a unique perspective rather than a general rundown of information that is readily available from a box score. Doncic has a story to tell and that in itself lends itself to driving interest. His perspective, outside of a sound bite, could do wonders for this section. (Luka, holla at your boy if you need help vamping up your blog. Seriously.)

Contact

Have you ever seen a Slovenian address?

So, what have we learned from Luka Doncic’s official site? Initial impressions are that he is a fan of Shakespeare and Churchill. He isn’t fond of fascists but he does like Friends. Also, in an effort to maintain his thicc physique, he loves eating pasta. He probably eats it while wearing a number of different shoes. You can count the number of days you eat pasta if you buy his calendar. Finally, he is trying to put all the fine bloggers out of the job by Bogarting the coverage of himself. It’s a vicious strategy but I can’t say I blame him for wanting full control of his brand.

Essentially, it’s a simple site that looks like it just launched. There’s potential for some interesting content but the advise I would give to the site managers is just to lean all the way in with the Britishisms. Dress Luka up as James Bond and do a photo shoot with an Aston Martin. It’s 2018, quirky and weird are the only things to be online.