Dirk Nowitzki is preparing for his 21st NBA season after playing 50,573 minutes over the course of his career — third most all time. Father time is undefeated and renders every man mortal, and the Mavericks legend is no exception.
However, while Dirk’s body shows the inevitable signs of age, his mind appears to be getting smarter, quicker and wittier. In interviews and press conferences, he never misses an opportunity to showcase his self-depreciating humor, and online, Dirk lets his Twitter fingers give the Internet insight into just how funny the Tall Baller from the G is.
Here are some of the highlights of Dirk’s Twitter career.
This one hits close to home, Dirk.
With our luck at the draft our pick is probably gonna slip to second round tonight....— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) May 16, 2017
He’s never been the most graceful runner...
Zeke just told me I run like a baby giraffe.... is that a compliment? @EzekielElliott— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) June 25, 2017
... but the NFL Combine definitely needs to make this happen next year.
Had this debate the other day in the locker room: Who wins a 40 yard dash between me and Peyton Manning???— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) October 23, 2015
J.J. Barea will think twice before coming after the GOAT.
Very aggressive from papa smurf... https://t.co/vADwbwVz4h— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) December 5, 2017
And Zaza Pachulia chose to re-sign with the Warriors in the offseason after this. Just saying...
You are my guy but your head weighs 500 pounds... https://t.co/IiN0elKLv8— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) January 7, 2016
That Photoshop, though.
Nice save, Dirk.
But after spending enough effort trying to backpedal out of this one on the court, he decided to keep it simple online.
Just when I thought Dirk’s above the rim days were done...
Yooo. That rim was 12 feet high... https://t.co/fr2SBPXvTl— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) January 6, 2016
... HE GOES AND DOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS
AND TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF!
Year 20 and still playing above the rim...... pic.twitter.com/94xQ2utyIN— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) February 14, 2018
But it’s clear he’s much more of an in-game dunker anyway...
Dirk can’t even catch a break in a video game.
I have enough issues on the court already. Don't need one in a video game.... https://t.co/wrdCPjZMS6— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) June 10, 2017
Age is nothing but a number, my man.
At this point just say happy birthday... thanks though https://t.co/phxQPjVAhW— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) June 19, 2017
Dirk got his ears lowered, and I’m really not sure how Head and Shoulders didn’t give him an endorsement deal or why Ellen DeGeneres didn’t bring him on her show!
Dirk’s trainer isn’t feeling the Victor Oladipo tribute...
...but that’s okay. Dirk just needs a nice day, a lake trail and a reliable bike during his offseason grind.
Everyone is posting pics from their workouts! So here it goes: summer grind on my new bike.... pic.twitter.com/rSl1y45SN1— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) July 21, 2017
Finally, I imagine Dirk’s trophy shelf has his league MVP trophy, Finals MVP trophy and this potato, front and center.
Whoever sent me this POTATO!!!! Much appreciated.... pic.twitter.com/fVaqRvvgTn— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) March 15, 2017
Much like his NBA game, Dirk’s Twitter game is aging beautifully. While players like Joel Embiid get the spotlight, Dirk might just be reaching must-follow status. And with the Mavericks missing the postseason once again and a little more time on his hands, Nowitzki might bless our timelines through the doldrums of summer.
Never leave us, Dirk.