Life in the 24-hour news cycle of the NBA offseason exists to break even the strongest among us. The danger of draft week is that it’s almost inescapable. You’re sitting at your desk and BOOM: a Woj bomb drops saying that the Kings are considering drafting Christian Pulisic?
A Shams bomb drops saying the Grizzlies are considering trading the fourth pick for a large jar of jelly beans and a ham sandwich. How can anyone survive an entire week with these bombs dropping everywhere?
Fear not, dear reader, I will show you how to make it through Thursday with your sanity in tact. Simply follow these guidelines and you will make it to the other side of the draft with your head on straight.
Unplug your internet router until Friday
Lets face it, you’ve already soaked up every single mock draft, scouting report, and trade rumor article. Any additional information at this point is probably just information overload. By cutting off your internet you’ll have time to read a book or walk your dog. Maybe you can spend some time with your family. I’m sure they miss you.
If you want to take it a step further and move into the woods for the next few days or lock yourself in your nuclear fallout shelter go ahead. It couldn’t hurt to commit to the bit.
Create your favorite prospects on 2K and put them on the Mavericks
This one takes a bit more time to fully commit but it could be the difference between keeping your sanity and rocking back and forth muttering “Luka Dončić” for the next 10 years.
To fully play this out just add your ideal draft prospect and free agent paring to the Mavs roster and play through a full season as a GM, win the Championship and then definitely don’t cry when you see a virtual Dirk raising his second championship with Luka Dončić and LeBron James.
Maybe do this two or three times because what the heck, you’ve got the time. I’m definitely not speaking from experience here. Mind your own business.
Watch a different sport for a bit
Maybe y’all have heard that there’s a World Cup going on. Even though the U.S. isn’t playing, all Mavs fans are deputized through Dirk to cheer for Germany.
Also there’s a College World Series going (boos reign down) ok ok fine. But there are also some MLB games (trash flies). FINE. Excuse me for trying to help.
Don’t believe any rumor you see
This is the most difficult part of surviving the week. General Managers and front offices lie about their targets for the sole purpose of falsely raising your hopes and hurting your feelings.
Don’t allow yourself to believe that your favorite prospect will be there at 5. Neither will your second or third favorite. Somehow the Mavs will find a way to trade down and draft Shane Larkin again.
Remember that the Mavericks are drafting higher than any time since the year I was born, 1994. That year they drafted Jason Kidd, a very good basketball player. This draft class is loaded with talent and Dallas has the 5th pick.
In a draft with at least six potential studs there’s a near 100% chance the Mavs will end up with one of them. There will be a key piece to the franchise available and Dallas has done their due diligence to be able to pick the right man with the fifth pick.
The draft is just a few days away, so take solace in the fact that you won’t have to worry about how to stay sane for much longer.
Here you’ve read nearly 600 words, you’re that much closer to surviving this week already.