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2 observations from the Mavericks gross 111-81 loss to the Grizzlies

Dallas made zero shots. OK, they made a couple. BUT IT WAS FEW.

NBA: Memphis Grizzlies at Dallas Mavericks Andrew Dieb-USA TODAY Sports

The Dallas Mavericks made everyone who watched them want to gouge their eyes out, losing to the Memphis Grizzlies 111-81 on Saturday night in Dallas.

For those that spent their Saturday night watching this, I’m sorry. Go try to recharge your chi tomorrow. For those of you that didn’t watch the game and are here to find out what happened — what’s wrong with you? Thanks for the click and kindly leave.

There wasn’t much to take away from this game other than the Mavs played a very bad game against a very bad team. But this is why we’re paid the big bucks (editor’s note: we’re not).

The Mavericks inconsistent shooters were all off

Luka Doncic did what he could, scoring 22 points on 14 shots and being the only viable offensive player tonight for the Mavericks. He finished with two assists but he might have had 12 if the Mavericks hit their shots.

Dallas finished an astonishing 7-of-40 from three. A putrid number made worse by the fact that the Mavs missed a ton of good looks. It was the type of loss where you just shrug your shoulders and move on. The Mavericks just couldn’t make shots. Sometimes basketball is that simple.

A disturbing thing about this game was how much it exposed the Mavericks lack of consistent, reliable shooters. Dorian Finney-Smith is improved, but he’s not there. Same for Maxi Kleber. Jalen Brunson is a rookie and his shot comes and goes. Tim Hardaway Jr. has an inflated reputation as a shooter. These are all major rotation players and all ones that need to help space the floor for Luka to do his thing.

When the Mavericks go shopping this summer, shooting must be a priority. Dallas can be hopeful for improvements from the younger guys, but can’t count on it. Kristaps Porzingis’ return will undoubtedly help, but until the Mavericks get to next season they’re going to be prone to some of these rough shooting nights. The team just doesn’t have enough proven shooters.

It was disheartening to see Luka whip passes to the corners and his teammates throw up bricks. I’m especially concerned with Hardaway, who might be forced to be a big rotation player in the future with his large contract. The Mavericks would really do well to upgrade that spot this summer and bring him off the bench, but who knows what happens in free agency. There’s a track record with Hardaway that for some reason doesn’t match his general scouting report. He’s shot 33 percent from three in Dallas. He’s a career 34.4 percent shooter from deep in almost six seasons. Maybe the Mavericks can unlock more, but they’ll really need a shooter in that starting spot to help maximize Luka. Finney-Smith, Kleber and Brunson all project to be bench guys next season, so they aren’t as crucial. We don’t know where Hardaway will end up.

This game was so bad the broadcast team talked about parallel parking for almost three minutes in the third quarter

Seriously, this game was the drizzling shits. There was nothing substantial to take from it as both teams aren’t concerned with wins right now.

This game was so bad, I feel like at least a few days were shaved off my lifespan. I feel worse for having watched it. I need to take some paid time off to reflect my time watching it and reconsider whether I even like basketball as a sport. I mean, if this is what it can potentially be why bother? This sucks.

Play better basketball, professional basketball players. Or at the very least do some cool shit to keep my eyes in my skull and not hopping out and lighting themselves on fire. I think Dwight Powell had a cool dunk in the first half. It happened exactly 92 years ago.

Dump this basketball game right into the damn garbage. Everyone that was in attendance should get a free coupon for wings or something. I’m sorry, this recap is now over so we can go back to living our lives.