The Dallas Mavericks last two games have been absolute garbage doo-doo. They suffered another 30-point loss, this time a 39-point loss to the Brooklyn Nets on Monday night in Brooklyn. This is coming off a 30-point loss to the Memphis Grizzlies on Saturday. Mavericks basketball is thriving!
Look, you don’t wanna be here as much as I do, so let’s just get into the actual stuff alright? Cool.
Some cool stuff happened, thanks Luka
When I wrote about the Grizzlies game, I bemoaned that it was not only an ugly loss, but one in which no cool shit happened. There was a neat Dwight Powell dunk, I think. That game killed too many brain cells for me to remember.
So thank the basketball lords that Luka Doncic decided to do something to at least make me look like the Vince McMahon gif.
Luka from half-court + stepback three against the Nets. pic.twitter.com/ORukN9MoKi— House of Highlights (@HoHighlights) March 5, 2019
Luka finished with 16 points, six rebounds and only one assist because the Mavericks are playing like three week old diarrhea salad.
Dwight Powell is trolling Kirk now, at this point
Dwight Powell is not a good three-point shooter. We have years of data to back this up. Whenever he takes threes, we all poke at our eyes until we can’t feel anything anymore. So of course Powell is raining threes better than Luka now.
He’s shooting 41.7 percent from deep since the All-Star break on 2.4 attempts per game. That’s...not bad? It’s not! Powell made a career-high five three-pointers against the Nets on six attempts and the broadcast team made a funny point about how the Nets were leaving Powell open and he was taking advantage. Yeah, maybe because he’s a career 28 percent three-point shooter? And was shooting 26.7 percent entering tonight?
Either way it was still cool. Lord knows this game needed as much cool shit as possible. Powell finished with 20 points, six rebounds and a surprising six assists. I feel like I write this every season around this time, but Dwight Powell is good. We just have to accept that and let it wash over us now.
The Brooklyn crowd gave Dirk a proper send-off
As much as I feel weird about every road arena treating Dirk like he’s a student manager playing on senior night, it’s still bottom-line a Good Thing that he’s getting showered with praise in what is his likely final NBA season.
It happened again tonight, as the Brooklyn crowd stood up and cheered every time the Mavs had the ball in the fourth quarter and going nuts when Dirk canned two jumpers. It was neat to see so many people in a 39-point blowout stay till the end of the game so they could watch one of the greatest of all time play one more time in their building.
On a side note: Jesus Christ, current Mavericks, what in the hell is your deal? Dirk enjoys a nice run of games as a starter, talks about maybe not retiring after the Mavericks beat a good Pacers team last week and the next two games they take a massive dump on the middle of the floor.
Keep it up and Dirk is gonna retire right when one of these trash basket games end. He’s gonna retire before he even gets on the damn bus. Do better, for his sake you jamokes.
BONUS OBSERVATION: what’s the point
The Mavericks are very bad right now but it’s very likely they’ll convey their pick to Atlanta this summer. So the Mavericks are so bad they can’t even avoid tanking right now.
These last two games have made me want to soul-search in Europe or something. Just awful basketball games that nobody should watch. I remember when I was in college and I would consume as much basketball as possible regardless of its quality because my life was rudderless and there was nothing else to do. I have stuff to do now, man. I work a full-time job during the day, Mavericks. The least you can do is at least entertain me a little while I basically work my second shift when I get home.
Is this what it’s like to be a Suns fan? Just endless misery with no purpose? Holy christ this blows. I never realized how much being a Mavericks fan for the last 20 years was basically basketball white privilege. I had no idea it could be this bad. There’s so much stuff I could be doing. I could read a book, go out into the city and find a new restaurant and taste new foods, I could spend more time with my wife, play with my dogs or catch up with an old friend. I could work on a book or something. I dunno, probably not. But the point is I could. The Mavericks are a dark cloud right now, sapping my will to live. Everything sucks and then we die.
End of recap, maybe my last one ever.