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It’s Time For The Mavs To Hammer Down

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There’s only one man who’s right for the job.

The Dallas Mavericks and 5miles, a Dallas-Fort Worth-based marketplace platform application, ended their jersey patch sponsorship, a full year ahead of schedule. The NBA kicked off the three-year jersey sponsorship pilot program in 2017, allowing teams to attract corporate sponsors and have the chosen corporate company’s logo on the team jersey on a 2.5 inches x 2.5 inches patch.

The Mavericks, with a $2.3 billion valuation by Forbes as of February of 2019, reportedly signed a $5 million per year deal with 5miles in March 2018. I’m certain the arrangement benefited 5miles’ value much greater than it did for the Mavericks, so the sponsorship ending a year early wasn’t too much of a surprise.

We can assume that the Mavericks are (presumably) looking for a new corporate jersey sponsorship. My colleague Josh Bowe recently put together a roundup of sponsorship ideas from some Mavs MoneyBall staff and that got me thinking.

Who, in my estimation, would be the best sponsor for the Mavericks? Who embodies what the Mavericks need to be? Who has the attitude the Mavericks need to emulate?

There’s only one corporate entity that checks off each of those criteria pieces.

The Dallas Mavericks must sign a sponsorship jersey patch with Jim “The Texas Hammer” Adler.

Jim Adler has been lawyerin’ in Texas for over 40 years, starting with a small one-man office in Houston (we won’t hold that against him) and now has over 25 lawyers and 200+ legal support staff working for him in offices from Houston to San Antonio to Dallas.

Jim Adler, henceforth referred to as “The Hammer”, is famous in Texas for his tough guy growl, comically menacing scowl, and of course, for wielding a Thor-like hammer in his over-the-top commercials.

No matter your socio-economic background, ethnicity, or what part of Texas you live in, if you hear the term “The Texas Hammer”, you already know who it’s in reference to and you’re going to smile. You’re going to smile because those commercials conjure some fun memories of you and your family or friends watching a commercial and laughing together.

You remember being in junior high and you're at a family dinner with the television on as it provides some background sound. Your mom is passing you the mashed potatoes when you hear the unmistakable growl of The Hammer in a TV spot as he fights an on-coming 18-wheeler with his trusty Thor-hammer. And your whole family laughs together and nobody notices that you’ve stolen the last pork chop. Thanks, The Hammer!

Or you remember being in college, sitting in your dorm building’s common area room waiting for a mandatory floor meeting with your Resident Assistant. The television is on a local channel because they don’t have cable in the common area room and the awkward silence among strangers who happen to live on the same floor is broken when you all hear The Hammer yelling about stingy insurance companies as he brandishes a new Thor-hammer. Soon you’re all laughing and talking about your favorite The Hammer commercials. The awkward silence is gone and you’re all friends now. Thanks, The Hammer!

You want me to provide more information to further punctuate my case for The Hammer becoming the Mavericks’ newest corporate jersey sponsorship? OK, well HE WAS RECENTLY FEATURED ON HBO’S LAST WEEK TONIGHT SHOW MUCH TO THE DELIGHT OF HOST JOHN OLIVER, I MEAN LOOK AT THIS:

How can you watch this and not fall in love with this character? How can the Mavericks pass up this opportunity to have a logo featuring his Thor-hammer (with the personalized “TH” etched on it) as their new jersey patch?

Oh, you want more info to help sway you? Sure.

If the Mavericks want to attract the family-orientated demographic well guess what the Texas Hammer’s son is also a lawyer in his dad’s firm. THAT’S RIGHT THERE ARE TWO TEXAS HAMMERS. What’s more wholesome family then a father and son fighting 18-wheelers and insurance companies together for the common man?

The reality of the Mavericks’ current state is that Dirk is gone and while the Luka and KP combo appears to be a promising start towards a return to another NBA championship, it’s time the team hammered down in a very tough Western Conference.

And the best way to hammer down would be to have two Texas Hammers leading the way on your jersey.