Luka Doncic guarantees the Mavs will make the playoffs, right?

Luka Doncic is back stateside after an extended off-season trip back home to Slovenia where, by his own admission in an interview with Mavs.com’s Dwain Price, and his Instagram stories further confirm, he just could not get enough of being on a boat.

Luka had so much “being on a boat” content over the summer, that it would be within reason to slot “being on a boat” in to the number-two slot of “things Luka Doncic enjoys doing.” That puts it right under basketball and right above Fortnite. (Are people still playing Fortnite?)

But what else can be gleamed from Luka’s chat with Dwain? Well, for one, it sure seems like he’s been getting restaurant tips from Dirk Nowtizki.

MAVS.COM: What’s your favorite restaurant to dine at in Dallas?

LUKA: I’d say Nick & Sam’s.

Ah, Nick and Sam’s. Nowitzki, a noted Nick and Sam’s lover who has a secret, 41-ounce steak named after him at the restaurant, must have taken the rook under his wing after all. If not so much on the court, at least about where to go for dinner.

That said, surely someone in the organization can give Luka the low-down on where he can get some great tacos? Although, if Doncic is ever going to achieve the ever-elusive six-pack that he apparently promised Mark Cuban he’d have by the end of the summer... yeah, on second thought, someone tell him how good Snappy Salads is or something. Six pack or no, Luka did say that he’s definitely shed at least a couple pounds.

MAVS.COM: Millions of us saw that photo of you on social media where you posed with a flat stomach while holding your dog, Hugo. How much weight did you lose, because we heard you lost as much as 20 pounds?

LUKA: Yeah, but I didn’t check it. I just lost it, so I don’t have to worry about it, so that’s the key.

MAVS.COM: What has been the immediate results of the weight loss? And do you believe that’s going to help you going forward, especially on the defensive end of the floor.

LUKA: I would say I’m faster now. So (my defense is) going to get better, for sure.

He’s also aware of how jacked Kristaps Porzingis is now.

MAVS.COM: Speaking of weight, have you seen center Kristaps Porzingis lately? His biceps have increased significantly.

LUKA: Yea. Both of them.

The interview managed to touch on all the most pressing topics of the day — his favorite shoes (the Kobe IV), his new teammates (he’s excited), and most pressingly, where he stands in the on-going Chic-Fil-A vs Popeyes sandwich debate. (“I have no idea,” being his answer. Which was a smart, veteran move to stay neutral in a highly polarized fast-food environment in which there is no right answer. You love to see that kind of savvy in a second-year player.)

But perhaps the most important part of the interview came when Dwain asked Luka about the struggles in the win column during his otherwise amazing rookie year.

MAVS.COM: Since you started playing basketball, last season was your first time ever finishing the year with a losing record. How difficult was it to go through that?

LUKA: It was hard, especially in the beginning during the first half of the season. But I knew this year was going to be different, so I was fine with it. I know this season is going to be different, for sure.

Different? What exactly does he mean by “different?” How can we define “different” in this context? Well, if you simply head over to thesaurus.com and run a search on the word, you’ll see that it’s a synonym for “disparate,” which is a synonym for “dissimilar,” which is a synonym for “contradictory,” which is a synonym for “contrary,” which is an adjective meaning OPPOSITE. So, clearly, by doing nothing more than simply following Luka’s own words, we can see that the opposite of last season (when the team went 33-49) can only be reasonably defined as a 49 win season in which the Mavs make the playoffs! Luka Doncic guarantees the Mavs will make the playoffs! There’s your headline! Print it! I mean, he said “for sure,” what else could that possibly mean?

To read the rest of Dwain Price’s interview with Luka in a totally calm, level-headed way that is not at all indicative of the fact that we haven’t seen the Mavs play a meaningful game of basketball in, oh, roughly 150 days, head over to Mavs.com.