3 things as the Mavericks technically play the Bucks in what is technically an NBA game

Who’s on first?

Look, no one knows who’s going to be playing, okay? This game is like a Kinder Egg. You crack open the lineups and a bunch of random basketball players you’ve never heard of come tumbling out and then they’re all forced to play minutes in a real life NBA basketball game. And also, it should be illegal in America.

I hope you’ve committed the Names Theo Pinson and Marquese Chriss to memory, because those guys are practically veterans now. The team has seemingly added half a dozen new players since those guys got their first run at the show. Charlie Brown, George King, Brandon Knight, Carlik Jones, Travis Thompson, I MADE THAT LAST ONE UP.

The latest news (as of this writing, which is almost certainly out of date by this point…) is that both Luka and Trae Burke have now entered the health and safety protocol as well. So. Ya’ know. At this point this Dallas team is basically a Ship of Thesseus thought experiment. How many 2021-22 Dallas Mavericks can you replace before they are no longer the 2021-22 Dallas Mavericks?

Screw it, just win and be legends

In many ways, this is our fault. We spent so long moaning about how much we want to see new players on this team, every finger on the monkey’s paw has curled into a fist and punched us in the throat.

So who even cares who’s playing? The “Dallas Mavericks” beat the Timberwolves and it felt friggin’ great. Brunson went berserk mode and a bunch of dudes who’ve been keeping their hammies loose for 8 months took it to KAT and D’Lo and won. Who’s laughing now?

There is a human component to this, and those dudes who have finally gotten their call up seem to bring so much energy and desire to play, you can’t help but root for them. Even if you just heard their name for the first time as they’re checking in at the scorer’s table. Everyone just go have fun out there.

Postponements, simply, are for cowards

You might be asking yourself, “gee, seems like a whole bunch of teams are essentially completely wiped out with health and safety issues. Feels like maybe this might be a decent time to postpone the season for a tick and regroup, no?” No. You idiot. You simpleton. Don’t you realize Adam Silver has already spent the last month and a half hand embroidering the player names on the back of the Christmas Day game jerseys? How do you think it would make him feel to not be able to hand those out on Christmas morning to all the players? See their eyes light up as they unwrap them? What kind of monster are you to even suggest something like that?

“Well, the NHL postponed their season, and I’d always thought the NBA had always kind of prided itself on being at the forefront of player safety and social responsibility. Kind of a stark contrast with a league like the NFL.” You might reply. Well… hey… shut up. There’s basketball on.

How to watch

You can watch the broadcast on Bally Sports at 7:30 CST.