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EXCLUSIVE: Mavrello Ballovic and the Dallas Mavericks secret weapon in the playoffs

Fresh off the season wrap up, the Mavericks sensation sits down for his first exclusive interview to chat Dirk, Cuban, and the upcoming playoffs.

The Dallas Mavericks have clinched the 5th seed in the Western Conference playoffs, their best finish since the title season of 2010-11 (they finished third in the West). In the midst of all that celebrating and plan-making, self-proclaimed Dallas Mavericks Owner Mavrello Ballovic was willing to sit down in an exclusive interview for the very first time.

We chat the origins of the team, Dirk Nowitzki, and the Mavericks’ secret weapon for the playoffs. Below is a transcript of our conversation.

The charming Mavrello Ballovic and I in our exclusive interview.

If you don’t mind, let’s start at the beginning. A recent video surfaced where you explained your history as the third founder of the team. Did you have a working relationship with Don Carter prior to the founding of the Mavericks? I have to assume the league named the team after you.

Yes…When we meet, I immediately decide to become best friend and business partner with the great Don Carter. Then I become friends with Don, JR Ewing, Tex Schram, Mike Rhyner, Randy Galloway and Meat Loaf — We call each other the Mavrello Pack.

Don was a very good man but after some time working together we have trouble finding common ground on some things. For example I want team to be called Dallas Mavrellos, other founders wanted Mavericks. Don and I also have very different taste in hats...

But I have nothing but love and respect for the original Maverick, DC. And everyone worship lovely matriarch, Linda. She Mavrello favorite. Wonderful Man. Wonderful Linda.

To be clear, you were trying to drill for oil through the floor of Reunion Arena, and that’s where the rift began? Do you suspect foul play in being locked in that bunker?

Rift began long before. I pitch many ideas but always get shoot down so I grow frustrated.

When I found oil under the arena, I said we will build an even bigger and better arena with profits but people just think I was crazy. This happened every time I had new billion dollar idea! Mavrello is a man of big, world-changing ideas like Thomas Edison but they treat Mavrello like Thomas Dolby.

Intimidating for many without matching brain muscles to Mavrello.

I once flex idea for The Clapper while eating burrito in break room. No one like idea so wasted opportunity. Could have been money waterfall for team. Or perhaps too many great moments from extreme talented player Brad Davis. Fans clap for him — lights go off, and on, and off. Ok. Maybe not so great.

Now you’re here! It must have been pretty startling to see how much the team has changed in 30+ years. Has anyone shown you highlights of Dirk?

It’s hard to believe. Mavrello still in disbelief! The Internet is so interesting. Has everything!

I catch up ALL THE TIME. I even hire team of 10 interns to tell me everything that is on Internet. If you go on Internet, please be careful! Do not watch 90s Mavs. OFFICIAL MAVRELLO WARNING. DO NOT WATCH 90s MAVS. How could brilliant 3 Js invention not work out?

When Mavrello discover Big German basketball machine - DIRK - I was filled with more joy than I could handle. So much joy that scientist Don Nelson had vision to invent him with German engineer Holger Geschwinder - which is German for “Hold my beer” He changed basketball with better shooting touch than Dale Ellis, size like Uwe but with Grace of Derek Harper, and incredible flexible flowing hair like Kurt Nimphius photoshoot. He brought me to tears!

He still brings me to tears. Dirk is special. He is greatest Maverick of all time.

As you can tell, Dirk’s One-Legged Fade miracle made me float with happiness. I meet him maybe soon.

What do you see as your role with the team moving forward? The few interactions we’ve seen of you with Mark Cuban have been, shall we say, contentious?

My big dream is Mavs world domination (I have a plan), but what is most important now is doing best for the team and all MFFLs. My vision for the glorious future of the Dallas Mavericks depends on the BRILLIANT thinking of Mavs fans.

Together we THINK BIG… and we WIN BIG!

As for Cubes…he has trouble understanding that his contract is null and void. We are working everything out with lawyers but for now I let him play pretend! But he is VERY smart. So smart that his smartness pushes Mavrello even more to think faster, bigger, better. I bring him every idea. So far he say no. Mavrello not give up. Every no brings me closer to a YES.

It’s clear fans are starting to fall for your charming ways. Can we expect any appearances from you during games at American Airlines Center, teaming up with Mavs Man or Champ?

Let me make a confession... At first MFFLs almost break my little rubber heart. But I’m so happy to see MFFLs and I have good relationship now. They mean the whole world to me.

As for appearances, this is a confidential matter! I will share the plans when ready.

The Mavericks are 8-3 since you dug your way out with a spork. It’s undeniable your impact on the team. Are you a secret weapon the Mavericks will have to utilize in the postseason?

No, no secret weapon is ALWAYS the fans. Ok maybe I emerge again and whip them into euphoric frenzy of Mavericks loving joy and spur team on to back to back victory. But yes… Always the fans. Fans are MOST important to the team and our success.

There will be playoff basketball at American Airlines Center for the first time in five seasons, and the first time for you in 33 years. What will that experience be like?I

If I had to describe the feeling in one sentence it would be this: It will be like the first time I saw on internet Dirk holding up the Larry O’Brien trophy AND MVP trophy and singing We are the Champions, I cried so hard. Before I witnessed this moment on internet, the maximum level of happy time I’ve experienced is day I break through ground to return. I thought that day was greatest moment in history of planet. But, NO.

I can’t wait to witness the positive energy created by winning games in electric NBA playoffs, with BEST fans in the world (MFFLs) experiencing this moment would make that historic day, I broke from ground, look like a trip to the DMV on day where they have longest line. And no A/C. And smells like old ham. And you get parking ticket when leave. And have a flat. And you lose keys. And you step in gum. And someone steal 8-track. If you not get point now you might be not be smart.

I know you are smart, Jordan. I’m also thinking of throwing massive playoff party? Maybe I’ll invite you…I’ll discuss with my intern.

Just as we wrapped up our interview, Mavrello was emphatic on leaving one final message:

Above all else, Mavrello is back for one reason only, for MFFLs. I miss them terribly when in bunker, I try drawing some fans on walls to share ideas with, but they not respond very much, very quiet. It never fill the void in my heart.

But now, NOW, I can be with my MFFL family again and can plot future of Mavs world domination with them. We make new billion dollar thinking, we focus group new plans, we decide new player haircuts, we design new Mavs socks, we reinvent hotdogs!

Mavrello want to chitty-chat to ALL MFFLs to hear ideas and to make them be true, my office open all the day (and night, had enough sleep in bunker). MFFLs were always what make Mavs greatest team ever and now I’m back, I will be the chief MFFL liaison officer (and REAL owner of the Dallas Mavericks too, not forget).

MFFLs are MOST important, team nothing without them. I be voice of ALL MFFLs and we work together to bring lots of trophies to Dallas. And we work together to help our community and make positive change in North Texas. We do it together.

All MFFLs feel free to email me at any time: