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My application to run the Dallas Mavericks

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It’s time for a different approach

NBA: Dallas Mavericks at Los Angeles Clippers Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Well, it’s been one hell of a week to be a Dallas Mavericks fan. There was some news. Then some more news. And after that, there was some news.

But for me personally, it’s been even crazier, because I have been officially contacted by Mike Forde’s Sportsology. They want to talk to me about the possibility of being the next President of Basketball Operations for the Mavericks.

Now, all of you know and love me, but you may be asking “Clint, how are you qualified to run an NBA franchise?” It’s a fair question, and one that I’m more than happy to answer:

  • I don’t just ask the questions though. I find answers:
  • I was raised as a fan of the Dallas Cowboys, so I’m accustomed to fruitlessly hoping that a billionaire will somehow put the success of his franchise ahead of his own infinite ego, being disappointed, and yet continuing to be loyal to the team against my own self-interest.
  • Lastly, and this is probably most important based on what Mark Cuban is looking for in a candidate, I am completely ready to be a yes-man. I will absolutely go along with anything he wants with no push back whatsoever. He wants his gambler buddy to dictate rotations to a coach who is renowned throughout the league for his technical prowess? Sure, why not? He wants his plumber to be in charge of team nutrition? Not a problem. He wants a bartender who served him a particularly good martini to choose the spouse of each player using a system that’s based on which species of bird he sees in his backyard at 10am every morning? Great idea boss, I should of thought of that, you’re so smart. Just give me the money and I’ll stay out of the way, Mr. Cuban sir.

For these reasons I think I would make a great President of Basketball Operations, and I look forward to serving my beloved Dallas Mavericks in the future.