We do a lot of things here at Mavs Moneyball. You need to know intricacies of the salary cap and how they apply to our options this crucial off-season? We do that.
Updates on the latest Mavericks news? We do that too.
But we also do stupid stuff sometimes and that’s where I come in.
In a season ending interview, Spencer Dinwiddie said this:
Here’s that full Spencer Dinwiddie quote, which is as wild and true to the Mavs’ humor this season as you’d expect:— Callie Caplan (@CallieCaplan) May 27, 2022
“I think we’re the best looking team in the league, bruh.”
Theo Pinson (with THJ, DFS and Bullcok) in the background: “Get him off the mic!” pic.twitter.com/hrWJVFNSCn
So, who are the best looking players on the Mavericks? Admittedly this is a bit of a pet topic for me. I once spent a few hours time ranking the best looking current NFL Quarterbacks with a coworker that I was supposed to be training. The answer was, and still is, Jimmy Garroppolo. Jimmy G. is so handsome that’s it’s funny. He looks like an actor playing a quarterback. I have a theory that he’s like Jon Hamm’s character in 30 Rock, who’s a doctor despite being dangerously stupid, because he’s so good looking that he lives in a bubble.
Anyway, 15 Mavs Moneyball contributors voted for their top 5. I compiled the results, with a 1st place vote worth 5 points, a 2nd place worth 4 points, etc.
4. (tie) – Luka Doncic – 20 points
Of course, Luka is the apple of our eye, so there was little chance he wouldn’t end up in the top 5. That’s not to say he doesn’t deserve it, although he badly needs a better, more consistent barber. He has boyish good looks and will probably be someone who gets even more handsome as he ages, like no one has ever said about me.
4. (tie) – Dwight Powell – 20 points
Dwight may be the best-dressed player on the team, and I think that really helps his case. No one on the roster looks better in a suit than our favorite Canadian, who tends to really nail his pre-game looks, other than the no-socks thing. I know it’s stylish, but I don’t like it.
3. – Frank Ntilikina – 23 points
No offense to Frank, but this one caught me off guard. Maybe I just didn’t see him on the court enough to realize how good-looking he is. Perhaps I failed to notice his natural French sensuality. Whatever the case may be, he wasn’t in my top 5, but a lot of our contributors are big fans, with one even giving him a first place vote. Oh la la!
2. Tim Hardaway Jr. – 47 point
My pick for number 1. Our own Josh Bowe once referred to THJ as “dreamy” and he was right. A lot was made about the bench during the playoffs with Theo and THJ leading the charge. Theo’s role was endless trash talk, camouflaging himself and just pure enthusiasm. Tim’s job was to distract the other team with his face. You can’t tell me there weren’t a couple of times that an opposing player caught themselves staring into his eyes or at his perfectly manicured beard instead of focusing, leading to a clanked three or a turnover.
1. Maxi Kleber – 67 points
Again, I voted for Tim Hardaway Jr. for first place, but it’s hard to argue with this. Maxi is a seriously good-looking dude. Especially when he’s hitting his threes. A lot of people would like to give him a call. Including our voters, 10 of which ranked him in first place.
Honorable Mention - Spencer Dinwiddie - 17 points
This is a bit of an outrage. Spence is a good-looking man, and not just because we traded Kristaps Porzingis for him. There’s something timeless about his look. He could have easily played someone in HBO’s The Deuce, set in 1970s New York, or HBO’s Winning Time set in 1980s Los Angeles. He should have been top 5. Someone at HBO needs to reach out to him asap.
My ballot was:
- Tim Hardaway Jr.
- Maxi Kleber
- Spencer Dinwiddie
- Trey Burke
- Luka Doncic
As I’m writing this, I’m realizing it’s silly I voted for anyone over Maxi. Just look at him. But what’s done is done. Speaking of, this season is done, and despite it being a success, the roster hopefully looks a little different next year. Just don’t bet on it being any more handsome.