A dispatch from the Dallas Mavericks’ offseason

Dear Anamaria

I received your letter just yesterday and am glad to hear all is well. It is hard here on the frontlines of the Dallas Mavericks offseason. It has been a long season, and still there is no end. But your words give me hope, even as Woj bombs land all around me.

You know about the previous battles. The Bay of Drummond Incursion. Can you imagine fighting so fiercely over such trivial ground? So much digital blood was shed over whether the Mavericks should trade for Drummond, or stay with Dwight Powell. The horror.

I shudder to think of the gore of the Evacuation of Porzingis. So many good men and women were lost to that fight. Some said he didn’t get enough opportunities, others said he should just stay on the court and he would get those opportunities. The battles raged for years, until the man was mercifully driven away to Washington.

The Crisis at DeRozan Ridge turned brother against brother. The clashes were fierce. Muting and unfollowing and blocking everywhere. Efficiency numbers and PER’s thrown around like nothing mattered. Perhaps nothing matters in the offseason except our blind ambition for a ring.

We even battled over our uniforms! Can you believe it, Anamaria? The uniforms. Some loved the white and gold. Others hated the graffiti-inspired editions, while a small group cherish them to this day. Such petty squabbles, but then, this is why we signed up. What would we do if not battle? Read a book? I surely hope not.

I am weary of so much fighting. We long for load management, but there is no rest. Not out in these NBA Twitter streets. I cannot stand to hear one more whisper of a trade rumor. I cannot bear another draft pick traded into the wind. If I see one more over-edited graphic with an illogical trade I may lose my mind. The CBA stymies our free agent operations. Maybe I’m just washed.

Things have been mostly peaceful lately, though. There are some skirmishes about whether Jalen Brunson should be re-signed or mustered out in a sign-and-trade. Some scattered shots about the newcomer Christian Woods. But there are no major campaigns right now.

I know those battles are on the horizon, though. The fighting will be fierce in the Kyrie-Turner Offensive. There could be terrible conflict over the proposed Beal Maneuver, and people will defend him with vigor, much more vigor than with which he defends. The Real Hoopers and Basketball Players will be at each others’ throats.

I hope I can survive yet another NBA offseason. But as the sun beats down on me, I can hear Shams tweeting, tweeting, always tweeting. I despair. I want to see you again, but I worry I won’t make it. Pray that I am just built different.

Tweeting through it with love,

Luka Doncic