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Looking forward to and dreading the Dallas Mavericks’ Season

This is gonna be great! This is gonna stink!

Dallas Mavericks Media Day Photo by Sam Hodde/Getty Images

Dallas Mavericks basketball is about to be here again so I wanted to talk about some things I’m excited about, as well as some things that will be terrible. It’s how I approach basketball. I love watching the Mavericks, but living in the moment with sports can be extraordinarily painful, particularly if you’ve been a fan for as long as I have.

I’m looking forward to watching Luka Doncic play basketball. It’s fun to have a superstar on your team. Luka does things few other guys in the game can do. The unstoppable scoring, the court vision, the otherworldly passing. It’s fun.

I’m dreading watching Luka Doncic play basketball. It can also be so miserable to watch Luka at times. The whining, complaining, not getting back on defense. It’s so frustrating. Growing up and stopping with this crap is one of the only evident ways Luka can still make another jump. Here’s hoping this is the year.

I’m looking forward to watching Kyrie Irving play basketball. I was unhappy about the Kyrie trade. Until I got to watch him play every other night. His game is beautiful. He has one of the best handles ever. He and Luka with a whole offseason together to gel could be a lethal combination.

I’m dreading worrying about Kyrie Irving. The fact is, Kyrie is one of the most volatile athletes in American sports. He’s saying all the right things, saying he’s happy, he’s finally found a home, he wishes the Mavericks had drafted him, etc. But he’s yet to be on a team in the NBA where the situation didn’t blow up and I’m skeptical this is gonna be different.

I’m looking forward to watching new guys play. The Mavericks finally did what a lot of us wanted and made some major changes this off-season. Grant Williams, O-Max Prosper, Derek Lively Jr., Richaun Holmes and Seth Curry should all be new guys getting significant minutes and I’m excited about all of them. Particularly the rookies.

I’m dreading watching Jason Kidd coach. I’m not looking forward to when he doesn’t call a timeout after a 20 point run by the opposition. Or when he runs the exact same after time out play for the 15th time in a row.

I’m looking forward to watching games on my phone. Once the kids are in bed, I switch to my phone to watch the game so that I can watch tv with my wife at the same time. It’s nice. Normally we watch a true crime show about a wife murdering her crappy husband. My wife takes extensive notes.

I’m dreading these hideous new Mavericks uniforms. Terrible. How are they so consistently bad at branding?

I’m looking forward to hearing Derek Harper say “at this juncture” for the first time this year, letting me know the season is officially underway.

I’m dreading hearing Derek Harper say “at this juncture” for the 20th time this year, which will be in the second half of game 3.

And of course most of all, I’m dreading seeing Mavs Man. I’ll be minding my own business and suddenly I’ll be forced to look at him on my television. He’ll be in the stands, force feeding a hot dog to a fan. The fan chokes, clawing at his own throat to try and breathe while Mavs Man reaches for another hot dog.

I desperately look away, but I can’t escape him. I turn the tv off but his image is burned into it. I change locations, go into a windowless interior room. I put a mattress over myself, fingers in my ears. Suddenly I feel breath beside me. I look to my left and there he is. Mavs Man. I beg him to leave me alone. He leans closer and starts to take off his mask. I get a glimpse of his true face. Indescribable horror. I gouge out my own eyes but it’s too late. He’s the last thing I’ll ever see. Even without sight, I see him.

Let’s go Mavs. It’s nearly time.